Lord, have mercy…this is not how I saw myself at the end of this day. I am not going to come out from under the covers and you can’t make me. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. The edges of my yellow sunflower bedspread with the green trim are tightly tucked under me. I don’t want to see daylight ever again. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever.
I mean it…this is not how I saw myself at the end of this day. In fact, the day started out superb. I had a feeling this was going to be a good day, a very good day. My emotions were right there with me, agreeing with that feeling I had this morning while brushing my pearly white teeth.
I was running a little late to work since I spent extra time meditating on how spectacular my day was going to be. The door to my sporty, red Mazda was locked but no big deal. Emptying my hands of my coffee mug, purse and black leather business portfolio with the bright green polka dots, in no time I had the door unlocked.
My instincts were right. All the way down the street folks kept waving at me and honking their horns. I had a delightful time waving back at them, nodding my head in acknowledgement of all the friendly people. That is until the police officer turned on his lights and sirens directly behind me. Scared me so bad I slammed on the brakes. The police officer, slamming on his brakes and swerving, barely missed me. That’s when my coffee mug went flying off the top of my car and splattered into a million pieces on the pavement. Unfortunately, the police officer didn’t see the humor in what happened. Wearing his emotions on his sleeve, he read me the riot act.
Fortunately, the morning went smoothly at the office. I did get a few strange looks but, what can I say, people don’t always know what to do with perfection.
At lunch time I decided to run to the store for a quick bite to eat since I didn’t have time to fix my lunch before leaving for work. I made a quick potty break while at the store. Looking into the bathroom mirror, I was mighty pleased with how I looked. “Looking good, sister,” I winked at myself while heading to the stall.
After washing my hands I proceeded to the deli to order a pastrami on rye. I knew I was looking good because every eye in the place was on me. I’m telling you; even those cute, young hunky stock boys took notice. Feeling might fine, I walked up to that deli strutting my stuff and grinning like I just won the lottery.
“Uh, ma’am, did you know you have toilet paper trailing behind you a mile long?” the deli clerk asked.
Sure enough, toilet paper had gotten caught up in the elastic of my undies and I had an entire roll dragging behind me. Suddenly losing my appetite, I made a mad dash back for the bathroom. In the process of dislodging the toilet paper I happened to look down at my feet.
“No, I didn’t!” I screamed while looking at one purple pump shoe and one brown loafer shoe. Since I spent a good deal of my preparation time meditating on my mighty fine day, I hurriedly put on my shoes while heading out the door. At least that explained the limp and why everyone in the office was staring at me.
“God, this was supposed to be a mighty fine day,” I wailed to the ceiling. “Why, why, why is every thing going wrong?”
Once I left the bathroom, keeping my head bowed to make sure I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, I walked toward the exit door. Slamming the door behind me, I was filled with relief. “Whew, I’m glad that’s over,” I sighed while looking up into the frozen carcass of a slab of beef. Not only did I walk into the store’s freezer, I locked the door while slamming it. Forty-five frigid minutes later a butcher showed up looking for some frozen turkeys.
Oh no…this most definitely is not how I saw myself at the end of this day. I’m so glad God’s mercies are new every morning. If I do come out from under the blankets tomorrow, I think I’ll try meditating on God instead of my crazy feelings.
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