The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/27/10
The pace and the pauses are very well done. The paucity of words and the white space in between is making us imagine a serpent and a girl. Excellent work. Keep it up!
This is a god demonstration. often when my pain is at its worst, i find myself holding my breath, when in reality my body needs the oxygen the most to be able to handle the pain. I liked how the story was simple, but the message was huge.
08/31/10
Chilling, stirring and powerful all at the same time. I enjoyed this quick read.