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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Breathe (08/19/10)

TITLE: The Serpentís Assault
By Teresa Lee Rainey
08/25/10


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Step back.

Thatís right, Girlfriend, just one, small step back.

Donít shift too quickly.

See how slowly you can move when your heart is screaming run.


He is watching you.

His beady, little eyes are searching for a chance.

If you make one wrong move, he will strike.

He knows you are weak. He knows you are afraid.


Breathe.

If you keep holding your breath, you will pass out.

If you pass out, you will fall.

If you fall, he will surely strike.


Thatís a good girl.

Slowly breathe in.

Slowly breathe out.

Slowly take another step back toward the path.


Wait.

Watch his movements.

He moves each time you move.

He isnít giving up.


Donít breathe.

Stay perfectly still and hold your breath.

Breathing is a bad idea when each breath echoes fear.

He sees fear.


Donít look at him.

Close your eyes.

Pray.

Pray under your breath if you must, but pray.


Open your eyes.

Itís okay. You can open your eyes.

He is gone.

He is gone for now.


Breathe.


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This article has been read 311 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Anthony David08/27/10
The pace and the pauses are very well done. The paucity of words and the white space in between is making us imagine a serpent and a girl. Excellent work. Keep it up!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/27/10
This is a god demonstration. often when my pain is at its worst, i find myself holding my breath, when in reality my body needs the oxygen the most to be able to handle the pain. I liked how the story was simple, but the message was huge.
Charla Diehl 08/31/10
Chilling, stirring and powerful all at the same time. I enjoyed this quick read.