The Official Writing Challenge
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Had to remind myself to breathe as you took me into this tense and threatening moment of time. Well-written & authentic. I felt so sad for the MC and Joey. And for the woman too.
I think you have a great story here. (Love the "littered with explosive words"-- think that was it). And you had me the whole way until the end-- and then I was stumped at the police cruiser part. I don't know why they're there or who called them. Really beautifully-written otherwise.
08/27/10
This was a very real depiction of mental illness and how it not only destoys the person, but those in their wake as well. My heart ached for the MC and his son.
This story is so sad on so many levels. mental illness be it OCD, bipolar or depression is difficult to live with and understand, but even worse to live in it, knowing that you're a tad irrational but helpless to fix it. You did a great job on such a difficult story and I commend you to bringing it to the forefront.
As I read the other comments, I just wanted to say I understood why the police were there and that the MC would likely spend the night in jail for domestic violence. It doesn't matter if she or a neighbor called the police, yet it might bring some hope and help for both spouses.
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level and in the top 40 overall.