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My hands are shaking uncontrollably. I am on the verge of hyperventilating. My body is telling me that I am overloaded and it’s about to shut down. I try to focus on the far wall, telling myself repeatedly to breathe, just breathe. I can get through this! All at once, the warming sensation floods my ears and everything goes dark.
***
The view from the precipice where I stand is phenomenal. I know better than to look down. Instead, I drink in the beauty that surrounds me. Snow capped peaks in the distance are laced with filmy clouds, pierced by the sun’s rays. I am awestruck, thankful for the opportunity to be in the presence of such magnificence. I begin to pray aloud. “Dear God, thank you! That you purposed my life for this moment, that you chose to share this spectacle with me, I am grateful beyond measure. I feel such peace in this moment. Knowing that you provide that for me is an awesome feeling. I have no need for falsehoods, Lord, for you are my way, my truth and my light…”
***
Something isn’t quite right. I open my eyes and it takes a moment to regain focus. I realize that I am on the floor. Ouch! My head hurts. My shoulder hurts. In that instant, I realize that I have, once again, lost consciousness. My head and shoulder have slammed into the ceramic tile floor. I maneuver myself so that I am lying on my back, knees bent, feet flat on the floor and begin the routine check—Am I bleeding anywhere? Is anything broken? Does anything else hurt? Satisfied that only my head and shoulder have been injured, I close my eyes.
“Be still and know that I am.” It is not so much a voice as it is a reassuring presence. My whole body relaxes and I am suddenly aware of my chest as it rises and falls with each breath. I concentrate on the air, cold as it rushes in through my nose, filling my lungs, warm and moist as I exhale through my mouth. In a short while, I feel well enough to try to stand. God has brought me through yet another episode, virtually unscathed. He is so faithful. I am beyond words as I breathe, knowing that His grace allows me to do so.
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