The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/19/10
I liked this but felt it needed some clarity, at least for me. I thought the child was in an orphanage and that a priest had abused her in some way. But then I was confused when her rescuer called himself Papa. Was he really a relative? Maybe I need to read this again.
Sometimes what's going on in a writer's mind doesn't translate clearly to the reader.
08/19/10
I liked this but felt it needed some clarity, at least for me. I thought the child was in an orphanage and that a priest had abused her in some way. But then I was confused when her rescuer called himself Papa. Was he really a relative? Maybe I need to read this again.
Sometimes what's going on in a writer's mind doesn't translate clearly to the reader.
You really pulled me into the story. Although I wasn't 100% sure where Hanna was, I figured she was in some kind of cult, like the one in Waco where one man says he's the leader. When her rescuer called himself Poppa, I wondered if she had been kidnapped. Your writing really drew me into the story. I found myself holding my breath from time to time.
I love the premise of this story and I too couldn't wait to see what happened next, but...yep, me too. Got lost on where she was and who she actually ended up with. :( However....NOW I NEED TO KNOW because you went and got me hooked! :)
08/23/10
I love how the Word of God penetrates even the very darkest places! A gripping tale.
A grabber that made me THINK (always a good thing) about your references to:

The Father
Father
Father God
Papa
Abba