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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Discern (08/12/10)

TITLE: Hanna's Amen
By Allison Egley
08/18/10


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Hanna lay huddled in the corner of her room, not sure what was happening outside. She heard voices and noises, but she couldn't make sense of any of it.

She was so scared. If only Momma were here. But Momma was in a meeting with the other adults. She should be there too, but...

No, she had made the right decision back then. She couldn't quite make all the pieces fit, but she knew that some of the things she'd been told most of her life were wrong. And she'd decided to go with her heart.

Maybe this was still part of her punishment. Perhaps the Council had decided. Well, whatever they decided, she knew one thing. Her Bible was coming with her, despite The Father's dire warnings.

Was that Momma's voice outside? No, and it wasn't The Father's either... But who...

Momma was the only one within the complex who would even associate with her now, after her rebellious actions against The Father, and now people were starting to shun her too.

"All because I questioned Father," Hanna whispered.

The noise outside grew louder. They were pounding on the door.

"Is anybody in here?"

Hanna tried to make herself look even smaller. She grabbed the black sheet from her bed, hoping it would conceal her. As she pulled, her Bible fell to the floor with a loud thud. Hanna tensed, hoping she hadn't revealed herself to the mob outside.

The door burst down.

"It's okay," a man's voice announced. "We're not going to hurt you. We're here to help you. It's okay to come out."

Hanna tensed. After all the lies Father had taught her, how was she supposed to believe anyone?

Hanna thought of the passage she had been trying to memorize the past few nights, as she hid under the covers after the lights were out. Just in case Father found out and took away her Bible. Or worse.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" Lord, Hanna though. Father God, give me wisdom. Are these people safe? Hanna sniffled and whimpered a bit.

"Are you in here? It's okay to come out. No one is going to know what happened until you're safe from here."

Hanna clutched the Bible to her chest. The boards beneath her squeaked as she moved, giving away her location. "Lord?" she offered a quick prayer before she allowed herself to be swept up in a stranger's arms.

Her body relaxed as a strong yet gentle hand stroked her hair.

"It's okay, little girl. Papa's got you." Hanna's breathing slowed. She didn't know this man, and yet those words sounded so sweet to her ears.

"Papa." She whispered.

Hanna didn't know what was going to happen next, but she knew, somehow, that it was going to be okay. She thought again of the passage she had been memorizing. For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.

"Papa," she whispered, daring to look up into the man's eyes. Her attention focused once again on the passage, and she said one last word before falling asleep in the stranger's arms. "Abba."

**********
Romans 11:33-36 (NIV)
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.


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This article has been read 512 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 08/19/10
I liked this but felt it needed some clarity, at least for me. I thought the child was in an orphanage and that a priest had abused her in some way. But then I was confused when her rescuer called himself Papa. Was he really a relative? Maybe I need to read this again.
Sometimes what's going on in a writer's mind doesn't translate clearly to the reader.
Charla Diehl 08/19/10
I liked this but felt it needed some clarity, at least for me. I thought the child was in an orphanage and that a priest had abused her in some way. But then I was confused when her rescuer called himself Papa. Was he really a relative? Maybe I need to read this again.
Sometimes what's going on in a writer's mind doesn't translate clearly to the reader.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/21/10
You really pulled me into the story. Although I wasn't 100% sure where Hanna was, I figured she was in some kind of cult, like the one in Waco where one man says he's the leader. When her rescuer called himself Poppa, I wondered if she had been kidnapped. Your writing really drew me into the story. I found myself holding my breath from time to time.
AnneRene' Capp 08/22/10
I love the premise of this story and I too couldn't wait to see what happened next, but...yep, me too. Got lost on where she was and who she actually ended up with. :( However....NOW I NEED TO KNOW because you went and got me hooked! :)
Margaret Kearley 08/23/10
I love how the Word of God penetrates even the very darkest places! A gripping tale.
Beth Muehlhausen08/23/10
A grabber that made me THINK (always a good thing) about your references to:

The Father
Father
Father God
Papa
Abba