The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
This was great. It had the feel of those old crime stories in the magazines. I was surprised to find where you were going, but I truly enjoyed the journey.
Great atmosphere for hitting a home run about self justified "grey" areas! I liked the climate you painted in this.
08/19/10
Interesting take on the topic. I really liked it.
08/23/10
Wow, I love the stunning word pictures! I, too, was surprised when the seductive woman and the dancers turned out to be demons, but I really like the analogy there. Sin tries to come across as appealing, but in the process it sometimes exposes itself. Thumbs up!
08/23/10
Very good writing. I could see her holding her long cigarette, blowing smoke across the room.
What an interesting idea. It reminded me a little of the Screwtape Letters. I'm glad your MC made the right choice. Good job!
08/25/10
Your writing style is just great and it drew me into reading. I love the Mickey Spillane feel.
Work on when to start new paragraphs and punctuation. I would have loved to see the ending be a little more of a struggle for the MC.
This genre is a good one for you.

Mona
08/26/10
That had a touch of Frank Perretti about it. I thought the arguments she presented, and her comments about the grey area of life was good. Well done.
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level.