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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Discern (08/12/10)

TITLE: A Purposeful Ending
By cheryl schoenberger
08/18/10


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Days come and go as I sit alone
Homeless, my heart cries out in despair
I close my eyes and pray to hear His voice
Listen--- the wind whispers; Lord are you there?

Child-like giggles echo all around me
They play to and fro without a clue
Finding food scraps is my daily hope
Wait---a hand offers bread; Lord is that you?

Rain pelts through the paper over my head
Parents and children attempt to flee
I pray for His protection through this storm
Look--- a raincoat is left there; Lord can it be?

Many months have passed residing here
My clothes are dirty, worn, and tattered
I pray every day but He does not answer
Why--- Lord, why? Why donít I seem to matter?

My life has no purpose I cry out loud
Please save me and release my fears
I am frail and helpless and canít go on
Behold--- a comforting touch; Lord are you near?

The cold air chills and shakes my old bones
Rosy cheeks contrast my lips tinged blue
Passerbyís warm with mugs of hot coffee
See--- over there, scattered quarters; Lord is it true?

Daily adult faces come and go
I recognize all but one is new
A little one is taken and I must help.
Alas---a shot rings out; My Lord, it is You!!


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This article has been read 337 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/20/10
This is beautiful. It really moved me and helped me to see some things in a whole new light. Even though I'm not homeless, I could relate to many of the feeling of your MC.
Amanda Brogan08/21/10
Wow, I like how the character sees God in the acts of kindness that are bestowed upon him. Reminds me of when Jesus said, "If you do these things to the least of these, you've done them unto me." Great job of showing how God can work through us to touch someone . . . and telling it from the POV of the person being helped.

The only part that confused me was the line at the very end about a child being taken and a shot ringing out. (The character's turn to be the hand of Jesus in someone's life perhaps?) Other than that, it's really amazing and flowed beautifully.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/30/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level.