The Official Writing Challenge
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08/13/10
Wow! I was assuming that, in the end, the butler would be accused of Ledyard's crime, and my heart was already hurting for him. But your ending was quite the surprise - what a brave man! I never thought about there not being laws in place to protect family members at that time in history, either. Very good writing - this kept my interest.
This story was so well-told. My heart was hurting for all of the characters. It reminded me of a fact that my daughter dug up while doing her paper on child abuse. The first case of child abuse was reported to the ASPCA At that time there were laws protecting animals, but not children. Excellent writing.
08/16/10
Excellent story. From the title, this was not what I was expecting. I enjoyed the fact that you took an issue that is often seen as a problem with today and showed that it has been around for a long time.
Wow, I never thought about that kind of laws not being around then, either. That would have been hard to know what to do about it back then. Well told!
What superb writing and especially about a difficult topic. The mc was believable and his integrity shone as he took a step to correct a "moral" wrong (as there was no law yet) even knowing that he could be fired without recourse and not find employment again as a butler.
I felt like cheering for him... people standing up and standing out to say that something isn't right and it needs to be addressed. Good job.
08/17/10
Great take on the topic, unique and well-portrayed. I think the beginning could have been tightened to leave more words for character development for Bailey, but overall, the story is excellent.
A hard topic, but I think you handled it well. I'm glad Bailey persevered to the end. Good job.
08/17/10
WOW! This is REALLY good! I love the voice, the language, and the subtlety with which you told of the horrors in the household. I wanted to smack that policeman, and cheer at the "what the Butler did" at the end. Kudos!!
08/17/10
Oops - I loved it so much, forgot the ink. Only one little stumble for me - in the 4th paragraph. It took a little thought to realize who the "he" is here: "knew first-hand that he was no “gentleman.”" Replacing "he" with "Mr. Ledyard" would clear it right up.

Oh, and I wanted to mention how much I liked this line: "To say that Mr. Ledyard was the master of his domain was to say the sun contributed to daylight."

:)
Cat