The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/29/10
I love the motion (or lack of motion) of the rocking chair through out. It's understandable for your MC to think his wife might leave, since his mother had. I'm glad his perception wasn't reality (I liked the way you used the story about Uncle Martin), and that in the end his heart could still imagine. Love this!
I think you nailed the insecurity in the male voice and it kept the story going through his perception of events.

The use of the rocking chair wasn't a distraction but I felt it enhanced the imagery, and setting.

I loved the way the topic is used here with the magician inserted and how it applies to the MC.

Five Star cool rating for me. Simply stellar!
07/30/10
Something very, very special about tis story. Deep, thought-provoking and realistic. So very well-written. On topic. Yes, I agree...it's top-notch. A winner.

Mona
This is a sad, but lovely love story. We so often have self-fulfilling prophesies. I enjoyed the attention to all of the details from the fireflies to the creaking of the chairs.
This is a take-your-breath story. It's that good. The imagery is superb in detail, as is the characterization. After I read it a second time, I was so glad that before she died, the husband had the sure knowledge that she loved him--no illusion.
08/02/10
So sad but written well. Love the details, too.
How many of us need an interpreter even though we apparently speak the same language!
Well written - moving.
08/02/10
Wow, can I breathe now?! What is it about your writing that makes me hold all the air in until the last word?

Lisa is back!
A wonderfully written story. At the beginning I thought the wife's problem was Alzheimer related. Her head action watching the fireflies reminded me of my M-I-L actions in a similar situation. The conversation, when it started, quickly resolved my misconception. Excellent writing.
08/02/10
Very well-written story! True-to-life imagery and dialog. The emotion is subtle, but the revealing of the answers is perfect in its timing and rock-solid presentation. Great job!
08/02/10
You wrote this with such delicacy and detail. I hear the silence, then the creaking, the dog in the distance. Masterful! I didn't like the end - her dying - but I guess that means you made me feel deeply for this couple and is more proof of the incredible quality of your writing.
08/02/10
So glad to have you back and writing! This story is your typical perfection - lovely imagery, spot-on voice, and a haunting message. Loved it!
Two words: Charmingly Captivating!
08/03/10
I agree with all the worthy praise here. But its so important for married couples to talk and listen and share their hopes and fears with each other. Another tip for marrieds in here, keep on having regular dates - shouldn't stop when married. (sorry for going on). Colin
08/03/10
Sometimes we read too much into things, and sometimes we fail to read enough into things. Perception is such a challenging thing, yet without perception, there is no vision and without vision, we perish. Sensitivity with understanding is so important, so that we may not jump into conclusion. May all of us gain discernment on what's a guess and what's the truth.

Captivating and stirring much thought with profound lessons captured in a story. Excellent writing!

08/04/10
Wow! You're good! There's no way I could have torn myself away from this entry, not even if I tried. Kudos!!!
08/04/10
There's a valid reason some of you are in Masters...this was masterfully written. I saw and heard the rocking chairs, saw the yard, the dog. I felt the husband's angony and the wife's frustrations with his imagination. Deep, thoughtful, dark but all in an intriguing, good way.
08/04/10
Wow. A read that lingers in the mind and emotion of the reader -- true marks of a true writer. Poignant, timeless ... and subtle. Made me think. Loved it.
08/04/10
Imagery is your expertise. I love the setting and the quiet firm way she set his heart at peace, but so very sad that she did leave him in the end, in a different way. Melancholy. Quiet. Thoughtful. Well written.
Lisa, your pacing for this outstanding story is top notch. It's such a sad story and, though I wish it could have ended more happily, it wouldn't be the strong story that it is! Kudos for what's sure to be at the top of the line tomorrow!
08/05/10
I sit here amazed, shaking my head, thinking, Exquisite...
08/05/10
hemorrhaging the glue that once held it together.

Gulp and WOW.

Delicious writing, Lisa.

You have been MISSED!!


08/21/10
Absolutely wonderful writing, Lisa. Reminds me of Anne Tyler in style, character development and imagery. I do hope you have a novel in the works....?
03/03/11
You inspire me. I am never ever disappointed when I read your stuff. I especially love how you get into the brain of your characters, even when your brain has never been there before (or maybe it has) Never-the-less, your characters are captivating.