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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: See (07/22/10)

TITLE: See What I Mean?
By Amanda Deed


My master is...well, he is a bit of a legend. He just knows stuff. I mean, he knows the kind of stuff he really shouldn’t know. In a freaky sort of way. The kind of way that makes every hair on your body stand on end. Generally, people keep their distance because of it. They call him the man of God.

What do I mean by that? Well, I guess I’ll have to tell you a story about him. Then you’ll see what I mean.

There was this army—the Arameans—who started a war with us. By ‘us’ I mean Israel. Now, I’m no warrior, I just work for the man of God, but these Arameans planned to ambush our king. The king of Aram would meet with his officers and decide where they would set up camp and lie in wait.

Not that we heard any of these discussions. We didn’t spy on them or anything like that. But, Elisha would wake up in the morning and tell me he had to go see the king.

“What for?”

“I need to warn him.”

So, we’d go off to see our king. “Watch out if you go near such and such a place,” he would tell the king, “the Arameans are hiding there.” The king was always happy to get these kinds of warnings. He would march out and check out the place and find the Aramean army concealed there.

Now, the king of Aram became really miffed about this and accused his officers of being double-agents, turncoats, and spies.

“No, no!” they said. “It’s not us. They’ve got that man of God. He tells the king stuff you only say in your bedroom.”

Well, the king of Aram decided to find out where this man of God was so he could finish him off. He sent spies out who located Elisha and me in a city called Dothan. Then he sent a big force just for us—horses, chariots, everything. They surrounded the city.
When I got up early in the morning and saw we were fenced in by our enemies, I really freaked out. I thought for sure we were about to die. “Oh lord, what are we gonna do?”

Elisha came out and stood next to me. He looked around for a bit and then grinned. He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. “Don’t be afraid. There are more on our side, than on theirs.”

I had another look around, but I could only see the two of us and the whole Aramean army. “What? Are you crazy?”
Elisha sighed. “Lord, open his eyes so he may see.”

Next thing, I notice this blaze of light. I look around the city and saw that the hills around the city were totally covered with horses and chariots of fire.

“Whoa!” I could hardly believe my eyes.

My master grinned.

The enemy began to close in.

Just as Elisha prayed for my eyes to be opened, he prayed for the enemy’s eyes to be closed. I must admit it was quite funny to see them all blundering around suddenly. They looked rather lost.

Elisha goes straight up to their leader—I told you he was freaky—and says, “you’re on the wrong road. You’re not even near Dothan. I’ll take you to that man of God if you like.”

So, guess where we lead them? Straight to Samaria and the king of Israel, of course. When, we arrived, Elisha prayed for their eyes to be opened again, and they were. Well, when they realised where they were, they freaked out a bit, to say the least.

The king of Israel wanted to kill them, but Elisha suggested another option. They gave the foreigners a feast and then sent them home. But, I tell you, those pesky Arameans left us alone after that.

So, now you see? He just knows stuff. He’s the man of God.

See 2 Kings 6:8-23 for the other version—the biblical one!

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This article has been read 383 times
Member Comments
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/01/10
This was an exciting version and I enjoyed it.

Remember to capitalize new sentences inside the quotation marks.

I really enjoyed seeing this Bible story through your eyes.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/01/10
Sorry about the quotation comment. I'd mixed your story a up. I thought you had done it several times, but it was only once near the end. I still really enjoyed this version of the old familiar Bible story. You did a great job.
Brenda Shipman 08/01/10
Clever and creative retelling of this Bible story. The narrator's dialogue style is not what I "think" I would hear from those days, but still...nice "re"storytelling going on here. :)
Caitlyn Meissner08/03/10
This sounds like me when I'm telling stories to my Children's Church class. Sometimes telling an old story with modern words helps people understand it in a different way. Good job with your article, and thank you for pointing us to scripture.
Carol Penhorwood 08/04/10
Loved your take on this Bible story even though the expressions obviously wouldn't have been used back then (freaked out, for instance). I think the younger audience will especially love it.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 08/05/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level and in the top 40 overall!