Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Bon Voyage (09/05/05)
TITLE: Get me outta here
By darlene hight
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Synopsis: Humorist look at Jonah’s infamous trip
Cast: Travel agent - male or female, Jonah – one male, customer – male or female (all bible times costume)
Props – Sign ‘Bon Voyage Travel’- sign with ‘Bon Voyage’ crossed out and replaced with ‘Bon Appetit ’- sign that says ‘A few months later’, Table, ticket.
Setting: General Stage
Scripture: Book of Jonah
[Travel agent standing behind table- Jonah enters stage left- talking to travel agent but facing the audience]
Travel agent: Welcome to Bon Voyage Travel Agency!
Jonah: I need to go somewhere
Travel agent: Well sir, where would you like to go?
Jonah: I don’t care…somewhere….anywhere.
Travel agent: Nineveh is particularly stunning this time of year.
Jonah: Anywhere except Nineveh.
Travel agent: Oh I see… had a little trouble in Nineveh. Well sir, you’re in luck! We can offer you the ever popular ‘Arabian Express’ accepted in all major cities. Guaranteed if it is ever lost or stolen, it will be replaced within 48hrs. not including messenger travel time or in the unlikely event that the messenger is seized by bandits, stricken with an untimely death or in times of social unrest, plague, famine….Well, you get the picture. I strongly recommend that you try our ‘Nineveh Extravaganza package’ please, don’t let your previous mishaps color your view of the beautiful, vibrant city of Nineveh.
Jonah: I’ve never been to Nineveh and I don’t want to go. Where else can you send me?
Travel agent: Nineveh is our destination of the month and you won’t get a better package deal…..
Jonah: What part of I don’t want to go to Nineveh don’t you understand?
Travel agent: Sorry didn’t mean to get pushy but may I ask why exactly you are set against Nineveh?
Jonah: I am a Hebrew. It’s not exactly a choice tourist site for Hebrew people. Besides God told me to go to Nineveh and warn them that in three days He will destroy the city.
Travel agent: Oh….so you’re a prophet, not a very brave prophet. So God told you to go to Nineveh but you’re not going?
Jonah: That’s right. I’m not going!
Travel agent: Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t it a prophet’s job to warn people?
Jonah: If I warn them, they will repent and if they repent God will have mercy on them.
Travel agent: [a beat] Isn’t that the idea?
Jonah: Never mind! Just get me on a ship to Tar shish.
Travel agent: You do realize that is in the opposite direction?
Jonah: Do you want my business or not?
Travel agent: Yes sir! Of course sir, here you go. [A beat] You’re not very good at your job are you? Have you ever considered going into a different line of work? Say maybe tax collector? Jailer?
Jonah: Just give me the ticket.
[Jonah exits- Travel agent puts up ‘Bon Appetit’ sign and ‘A few months later’ sign] [Tourist enters the shop]
Travel agent: Welcome to Bon Appetit Travel Agency!
Tourist: I noticed that you changed the name of your agency?
Travel agent: Well…we now specialize in more exotic modes of travel.
Tourist: Still…I think that Bon Voyage was a more suitable name for a travel agency.
Travel agent: Have you ever heard of a prophet by the name of Jonah?
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