The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 547 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/22/10
Interesting character study! I think you could take this mysterious lady through a story of her life. Just goes to show, we never know what is hiding inside every stranger we meet.
07/24/10
This story reminds me that there is always more than what we see on the surface. You did an excellent job making the characters real and so life-like.
07/26/10
I really got a great sense of Ellen through your writing. I loved how she laid her most precious possession at the manger. Possibly, having your reader experience that pivotal moment, as opposed to hearing an account of it, would have made it even stronger. Lovely writing.
07/26/10
You can't judge a book by its cover. I want to know more about Ellen.
07/26/10
Wonderful writing! Very evocative; I've known some Ellens and you captured her perfectly. Her gift in the manger came as a blessed surprise, and I loved the effect it brought.
07/27/10
Wow! What a powerful ending. She reminds me of the woman in the Bible who gave all she had. Great story, likable characters, well done.
07/27/10
Not sure if I followed this correctly. I think I would have enjoyed a bit of a different ending. She expressed wanting to eat it on the riverbank with crackers to remind her of her husband. Not sure if you changed her plans in the story as laying down her pain and suffering of her loss of her husband at the manger or if you had different intentions for that. I really enjoyed it all the way up to the end, also manger being spelled incorrectly at the end, caused me to pause as well. Not trying to sound negative, cause it was actually one of my favorite reads all the way up until the last paragraph.
07/29/10
Oh wow! You left me wanting to know more of Ellen's story. I love your ending. The caviar that was precious to Ellen was what she decided to give as a gift. [reminds me of a certain Bible story] I enjoyed this immensely!
07/30/10
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level.