The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 735 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/23/10
Cute story! I would have liked more details on the boys: ages, relationship to each other.
Loved the description of Dad!
07/23/10
This is a cute story. I found myself caught up in it wondering who would make what. I did wonder who the intended audience was. At first it felt like a wonderful children's story. I could see the great pictures that would go with each page. Then about half-way through it seemed geared more for an article in a YA or Adult magazine. But it was a fun read throughout and made me smile. I too like PB jelly and fluff!
07/27/10
I also liked the pretend discontent that the dad portrayed. I also thought that Johnny was a younger child at first, so mentioning he was a teenager from the start would have added clarity. But it was a good family story and well-written overall.