The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
My heart felt tight with the danger lurking throughout the entire story. I was surprised at the last line. It was an enjoyable read, and after giving me a small taste, I found myself hungering for more.
07/22/10
Oooh! You're good. Great set-up caught my attention and descriptions woven into the character's movement through the story gave me a you-are-there apprehension. I enjoyed the read and the surprise ending.
07/23/10
Loved it! Perfect ending. If I were a writing teacher, I'd give it an A+. :0)
Well thought out plot. Great structure. Interesting story!
Didn't see that ending coming which added an inward pleasure to an intriguing, informative, and outstandingly descriptive story.
07/26/10
You did extremely well at creating setting with this story - I saw it, felt it, even tasted it! Also, the sense of danger was very real. I thoroughly enjoyed the last line too - didn't see that end coming at all. Excellent writing! By the way, I didn't spot your spelling mistake even after you pointed out that there was one :-)
07/26/10
Ahhh...do I smell a sequel? Great story-telling plus mystery, intrigue...this story has it all.
07/26/10
So what happens next? Great story!
07/27/10
Suspenseful and engaging!
07/27/10
This was a great story, and you bring to the light the true danger that comes with those led to share the Gospel in places it is not welcome. Such a shame that those of us who have the ability to share it so freely keep it locked up so much.
This is a superb short story--would make a wonderful chapter in a novel or one of similarly themed short stories in a collection.
I think I knew from the beginning what the ending would be, but only because I've read so much about Voice of the Martyrs' mission in Colombia. I enjoyed your story very much, and am glad I got a chance to read it.
07/28/10
Intense with a great twist! I want to know what happens next!
07/28/10
I didn't expect the ending… but loved it! Your setting is tangible!
Congratulations for placing in the top 15 of your level.