The Official Writing Challenge
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Your emotional story is presented excellently through the contrast of sounds and silence.
07/17/10
A beautifully told, emotional story. There are such poignant moments here like the squeeze of the hand. Wonderful!
07/18/10
So well-told, lovely, and heartbreaking. Very well done.
Heartbreaking but very heartfelt. Very well told.
07/18/10
You painted the scene so very well and drew me into the moment. Powerful.

Mona
07/18/10
Beautifully bittersweet. I loved the last lines...sniff.
Angela:
Your last words are so poignant. Tenderly written and a reminder to cherish each other before "true silence" comes.
07/19/10
This is beautiful and touchs the heart very deeply. I love your lines 'The machines pronounced death. The music proclaimed life.'
Wonderful - thankyou.
07/19/10
This was really moving. A good piece, hard to read because of the emotional content, but good!
Not only was the excellently written in every aspect, it was heart-wrenchingly beautiful. This is the first time I actually cried while reading a challenge entry. What a comforting, comforting peace I received about going home. It is well with my soul. AMEN!
07/20/10
Beautifully written, very evocative. So very real; the beep of the machines, the aching from trying to rest while worrying. Then the release as the Spirit ministers His peace through you. Thank you for a beautiful story.
07/20/10
A very poignant piece that brought back memories of dad squeezing my hand through his seemingly unconciousness when I told him I loved him and that Jesus was with him.
07/20/10
This is so very moving. I loved your alliteration with, "bombarding beepity-beep of his bodily bulletins." Very good work here!
07/21/10
This really spoke to me as I had a very similar experience as I waited and watched during my mother's fight with cancer.

Because of nightmares, I played the Psalms through the night and she experienced heavenly peace and then as she lay dying, we played her favorite hymns and she slipped away peacefully.
07/21/10
Goosebumps. Both beautiful and painful to read.
07/21/10
Masterfully written, tenderly felt. Well done.
this is a beautiful piece and I love the clever word pairs- like bodily bulletins. I think you paint an accurate picture (and by that I mean, I can see the room, feel the chair, hear the sounds) of what it's like there at the last few moments.

the only hiccup for me was with the "pronounce death" before the death happens- I thought he'd died right there-- I think that's just a minor word choice thing- and maybe I'm the only one who was thrown off by that.

I thank you for sharing this moment of your own journey. I think your dad would squeeze your shoulder and put a big kiss on your head for telling it so well. Very well done.
This is a lovely piece. It's so true how noisy a hospital is and what a wonderful way to drown out the noise and give comfort at the same time.
Beautifully written. It is hard to see and know a loved one in deep physical pain. God Bless. Keep writing.
07/21/10
Sad emotions well expressed when we see one we love departs, yet with assurance of God's salvation, we can be in true silence. It is certainly well with our souls "when peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul."
07/21/10
Very touching. I could "hear" the many sounds and feel the emotions that each sound produced.
07/21/10
Angela, this mirrors my own experience when my wife passed away last August. The depth and accuracy of your emotional offering is incredible. Thank you for sharing what I could never bring myself to put in writing. Truly, thank you.