The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
07/16/10
I want to know the rest of the story! Good writing - this kept my attention.
Very interesting story.
I know nothing of parachuting and could follow just fine - good job.
It's an exciting story and it held my attention throughout.

Though you used the word hear, heard I had a hard time seeing exactly how it fit in the topic, but my brain does get tired at time.

I'm eager to hear more of the story. I like the little teaser at the end suggesting there will be more danger to read about soon.
07/19/10
I liked the mystery in this story, intriguing. You did a good job making your mc believable, I could see him clearly in my mind. (Makes me wonder if there's some real-life experience in this story.
07/20/10
Suspenseful. I too want to hear "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey used to say. Is this based on truth or fiction? Just curious. Keep it coming.
This is totally outside what I normally read, but I loved this. I, too, NEEDED to hear what's next- you left us hangin' (ha, ha!) dropping us out of the plane and we don't know where we're going to land.
The only pink ink I have is that I don't think the internal comment near the top was crucial to the telling.
I really liked this- and the detail given really sealed it for me. Nice work!
This gave me a whole new insight into the interesting person you are. Excellent writing.
Alright, it's a great story. Even if your mc didn't always like what he heard from the sergeant. I'd really like to hear the rest of it. God bless. Keep writing.
07/23/10
Not bad.