The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 532 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/18/10

Basic theme follows the title very well, and nice grasp of grammar and spelling. I liked the thoughts you provoke within the reader.

Some editing is needed to rearrange the "visions". Reading it aloud, the lines seem scattered and piecemeal. Perhaps some smoothing out of rhythm also?

Blessings for your good thoughts.