The Official Writing Challenge
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Thank you for your entry. A few tips: when it's a different person talking put the dialoge on a separate line... this helps the reader know who's saying what, more than you telling us who said it. Which is another thing... don't be afraid to say "said" after a piece of dialoge. Most of the words you used in the place of "said" only distracted me from your dialoge.
Otherwise you have a nice message here. Keep writing.
You are a gifted writer. Enough said. God bless you and that skill you've been given.
I'm not sure you need the row of asterisks after the 3rd paragraph. Good job at showing us this cantankerous lady; she was very realistically protrayed.
Ditto. God bless.
interesting story! strong characters. ditto the above tips. good talent here!