The Official Writing Challenge
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You did a beautiful job pulling the reader in. Your story gives credence to the adage Write what you know, and you showed if you don't know then do. Well done.
06/19/10
I had to laugh at this--I can definitely see it being played out, the idea of it being a Hero's scribe, wow, what a job! I love the way it ties in with the topic, good job!
I have to be honest. Yes, I was pulled into the story. It is very much an action story and as such it does stand by itself. But I'm the kind of reader that likes the details. You mention a hessian bag. What is a hessian bag? Where is this story taking place? Is it in the past, the present, the future on another planet? Why is the hero needed? Are there no police to handle crimes? Are the police if any, so hampered bu the criminals that a hero is needed to rebalance things. For me at least the whole story was abrupt. I needed more of an introduction or build up to understand who the MC was other than a hero showing his scribe what he does so the scribe can have a better understanding. I'm just one of those readers who enjoys the story better, when I know the story/details around the story. I did enjoy what you wrote, I just wanted more to it. But please keep writing and God bless.
06/21/10
And for Susan Montaperto's benefit, Civa also wore red socks.
Mick, this was brilliant. I loved every word. What a great way for a writer to understand how a 'character' in a story—or in this case, a hero in a biography—is feeling. Poor Togullen, I felt his fear and that awful little electric current you get in your hands when you get a sudden fright.

I may be wrong, but I think there was a word missing from ‘You are brave one,’ the muffled voice beside him said perhaps "a" or "the".

Another great story about Civa. I really like him, he's one of my favourite characters in your stories.

"Civa also wore red socks" Mick, you literally had me laughing till I cried.