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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Editor (05/27/10)

TITLE: An Acceptable Offering?
By Kimberly Russell


The chill of the murky cave startled him after heat that had baked crisp all day. Escape had required his full attention and the cool silence brought a welcome respite from the tension that had been his constant companion. The enemy had given chase but his strategies proved adequate to keep them at bay--at least for the moment. A chance to relax in relative safety was a pleasant surprise.

Be good to me, God--and now! I've run to you for dear life. I'm hiding out under your wings until the hurricane blows over.

Bone weary fatigue overtook him as he nibbled a crust of bread. The nutty flavor lingered on his tongue--a simple pleasure--as he wrapped the ratty cloak around himself. With a deep sigh, he settled on the bumpy ground, grateful for protection from the elements and his pursuers. He searched for sleep but it eluded him, betrayed by a mind filled with pain.

I find myself in a pride of lions who are wild for a taste of human flesh; their teeth are lances and arrows, their tongues are sharp daggers.

Recent events swirled as he agonized over actions filled with regret. So many mistakes. Lies permeated until truth became nonexistent. And turned him into a fugitive.

They booby-trapped my path; I thought I was dead and done for.

He tossed and turned, eager for sleep to find him but with no success. The thoughts wouldn't settle, guilt too strong. Responsibility for so many wrongs hung like a stone around his neck but what about the injustice of accusation? No one had any interest in the truth--lies were easier to believe.

I cry out loudly to GOD, loudly I plead with GOD for mercy. I spill out all my complaints before him and spell out my troubles in detail.

The Lord could be trusted--he knew that in the very depths of his soul. But why had God abandoned him?

He thrashed on the hard-packed earth as dirt and pebbles skittered in retreat. Unable to bear the weight any longer, he threw aside the tattered blanket and rummaged in his pack for a shard of pottery and stick.

As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away, you know how I'm feeling, know the danger I'm in, the traps hidden in my path. Look right, look left--there's not a soul who cares what happens! I'm up against it, with no exit-bereft, left alone.

Self-pity threatened to envelop him and David knew he needed to regroup. It would help to let the thoughts escape, scribbled on the pottery, so they would torment his mind no more.

I cry out, GOD, call out: 'You're my last chance, my only hope for life! Oh listen, please listen. I've never been this low. Rescue me from those who are hunting me down. I'm no match for them. Get me out of this dungeon.

He continued to pour out his heart and the burdens eased away. Hope rushed in like a stream of fresh water as God heard his cries and placed sweet peace on the exhausted soul.

I'm ready, God, so ready, ready from head to toe, ready to sing, ready to raise a tune. Wake up, soul! Wake up, harp! Wake up, lute! Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!

A commotion outside signaled the arrival of his men as David stood and began to shove the pottery back into the pack, hesitated, and placed the shard where he had lain. Maybe another discouraged traveler would gain comfort from his ramblings.

I'm thanking you, GOD, out loud in the streets, singing your praises in town and country. The deeper your love, the higher it goes, every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness.

Would the Lord see the heartfelt words left behind? God had allowed him to express his fears, frustration, and pain then took the darkness and merged it into joy so David would know he was not alone. Surely, God had a purpose for the earnest missive. David prayed that God would find his gift acceptable, useful for His purposes.

Ready to face Saul once more, the future King of Israel continued to praise the Lord.

Soar high in the skies, O God! Cover the whole earth with your glory.

Italicized from Psalms 57 and 142 "The Message"
Story based on events in 1st Samuel 22

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Member Comments
Member Date
Brenda Shipman 06/06/10
Great job capturing David's voice, his turmoil and eventual hope. Nice description of cave setting. My favorite line re: David's writing, "God had allowed him to express his fears, frustration, and pain then took the darkness and merged it into joy so David would know he was not alone." Amen. May all of our writing reflect this process!
Sarah Elisabeth 06/10/10
I really like the voice in this, it had some great lines!
Colin Swann06/10/10
Very descriptive writing to your interesting story.

Lyn Churchyard06/11/10
This was so good. I thoroughly enjoyed this even though I thought it a bit light on topic. I loved David's voice in this. Well done, well done indeed.
Rachel Phelps06/13/10
I liked the framework of this one. Creative AND well done!