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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Inspiration/Block (for the writer) (05/20/10)

TITLE: Jesus Loves the Red Rose that Stormed the Night Violet
By Clyde Blakely


Another topic! When will it stop? Think, man, think! You’ve got to come up with something before it’s too late. Late - what with all the rewriting, editing, the critiquing, before when? What was the word limit? Coffee, I need coffee.

Sip, think, sip, think, stare, sip, finger tap, sip, This is really bad coffee!

“Hmmm, is that an inspiration - bad coffee?”…”No, it’s just bad coffee.”

Come on, think of something. What was it the writing instructor said? If you can’t think of anything just start writing and it will come. Okay, I’ll give it a go.

It was a dark and stormy night…it was dark and stormy that night…it was night, really dark, stormy too…it wasn’t night but it was dark and stormy…storms darken the night…the night made the storm dark…night storms are dark…it wasn’t dark, it wasn’t stormy and it wasn’t night…and nothing’s storming and my thinking is dark as night. The light’s not on and I’m not sure anyone is home.

Well, prose isn’t working, how about poetry…

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Is this poetry
I haven’t got a single, solitary clue

Noses are red
My lips are blue
I’m hyperventilating
And this ain’t working neither for me nor you

Why didn’t I keep my day job? That’s right, this is my day job. Well, why didn’t I keep my night job? I never had a night job because I wanted to be a writer. Better check the want ads for night jobs.

So write…or go hungry. I sleep at night! Even the late shows are too late for me.

Come on. There must have been something this week that excited you, something you can write about. Sunday, what was the sermon message Sunday? Where’s my notes…

I remember, I didn’t take any notes. I was excited about going out to lunch after church. Let’s see, what did the pastor talk about: sin? No. Heaven? I can’t think of anything along those lines. Good works, yes, that’s it: good works! What did he say? No, wait, I know, it wasn’t the sermon, it was in a devotion I read.

Hmmm, perhaps I’ll just copy it…just a little. I’ll tweak it enough so no one will know.

Where is that devotional? Ah, here it is:
In Everything You do, do it unto the Lord.
That’s a good title, just a little bit of fine tuning and it’s mine.

In Everything You do Make Sure God Gets the Glory

Now that’s a title! I’m sure people will be impressed with this one. I may even get a recognition for it.

Let’s see, where to begin? Conviction! Right, make people feel guilty; hook them right at the start. Then lay it on thick and wrap it up using references to hell and damnation. Man, I’m good, really good…wait a minute. Do I need a mirror to remove the mote out of my eye? Back to square one…

Square one? I’ve never even got to square one yet…

Prose, poetry…nothing. How about a true story? About what? I don’t know…make up something. Yea, I’m good at telling stories. But that wouldn’t be a true story. It’d be fiction and I’m not any good at fiction…

How ‘bout a psalm? Psalms are good. Oh course, a psalm. I love reading psalms.

(Two hours later)

Well, that one didn’t work either. How did David do it anyway? So much for psalm writing.

I need to rest my mind a bit. Perhaps a nap, maybe something will come to write about. Clear the cobwebs. A nap it is then…

Strolling to the bedroom, softly singing:

“Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me so”

I sure wish I had a little inspiration to write about.

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This article has been read 490 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sharon Laughter05/27/10
HAhahahaha.! HEEE-heeeee! HHHAHAAAHAHAHA!! HEHEHEE--hEEEE! Oh, HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
Brenda Shipman 05/29/10
Oh this was hilarious, really, read like a scene out of a movie, a VERY funny movie, with Ben Stiller playing the part! Great job!
Lyn Churchyard05/29/10
Well thank you very much! I had to change my shirt because of you, and almost had to hang my laptop out to dry Not having a Laugh Out Loud warning at the start of an entry should be a crime-or at least start with put that cup of coffee down.

This is one of the funniest entries I've read in a while. You my friend have no problem with inspiration/writer's block. Love the humour, love the title, and definitely love the last three lines. Well done, I hope this does well.
Maria Egilsson05/29/10
This was hilarious and so relatable. I love the line:

Maria Egilsson05/29/10
ooopss my favourite line (out of so many) never showed up on the previous post. this is it....

The light’s not on and I’m not sure anyone is home.
Coleene VanTilburg 05/29/10
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Your entry was a riot
(that's a positive word...lol),
And very creative too!
AnneRene' Capp05/30/10
In addition to this being pleasantly entertaining, I am in awe of your intellectual creativity!
Amanda Brogan05/31/10
HaHaHa! I'm laughing out loud at the entry and the comments! (But especially the entry.) This baby is gold! (Wait, is gold funny? Maybe it's a golden monkey ... a golden monkey might be funny.) ;)

I'm voting for this one to be a high-ranking piece! (And for Ben Stiller to play the leading role in its movie. ;) )

Love it!
harvestgal Ndaguba06/01/10
I loved this:
Noses are red
My lips are blue
I’m hyperventilating
And this ain’t working neither for me nor you.

The whole thing was so entertaining and brought lots of smiles. Great writing.
Lollie Hofer06/01/10
This is hilarious! Let's face it, most writers can relate. I laughed out loud through the whole piece. Thanks for making my day a little bit brighter.
c clemons06/04/10
I can't believe this didn't at least place, you were robbed again my friend. Maybe the judges think that since you are a professional you shouldn't be writing on an amateur site.:) But that's okay I love reading your entries keep 'em coming.