The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/20/10
This experience has had quite an impact on you and thus on this reader. Writers who engage their emotions are the best kind, in my opinion. Your journaling flowed beautifully.

My favorite line is "the evenings, over dinner, I listen to the conversations around me, my fingers subconsciously typing out narratives in my head." Yep, happens all the time! LOL!

(Only critique I have is one of punctuation--the absence of several possessive apostrophes.)
05/24/10
I confess I found it hard to get into the story because of the first person present tense - just a personal hang-up of mine. Great concept and right on topic. Love the ending!
05/25/10
I tend to get tipped up by present tense too, but for this entry I felt that present tense worked best. It made it feel like I was reading from her journal. Iíve been on one mission trip before, so I could relate with the emotions of being on the sidelines (I was only like twelve at the time), the wall of communication, and the mixed emotions of returning home. Excellent work!