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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Critique/Review (for writers) (05/06/10)

TITLE: What a Shock
By vincent lyons
05/12/10


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“Young man”, said he, “I cannot see
Any rhythm to your verse,
No sense of rhyme and out of time,
And your punctuation’s worse.
It seems to me you’re all at sea
In how you use your tenses;
I think it best you take a rest
From lyrical pretences.”

These words back then to a boy of ten
Came from his English master
Therein addressed his end-term test—
His report card read, ‘Disaster’.
The boy’s mistake—He tried to make
A skit about his teachers—
To poke some fun at everyone
He stressed familiar features.

In tones profound, while father frowned
The boy was sternly lectured—
How dare he speak with abject cheek
These notions he’d conjectured!
What gave him right to glibly write
Of lofty, learned leaders?—
Should not a child be occupied
With simple children’s readers?

That episode from years ago
Left the master’s recollections;
Now long retired he had acquired
Some ‘theatrical connections’—
Lo and behold! What should unfold
One night on stage before him?—
The skit he scathed was being played—
Sure upset his staid decorum!

He squirmed low though none could know
How humbling this occasion—
The worthless child he had reviled,
Accorded such ovation.
A sudden change! Skit’s rearranged—
The leading man feigns anger;
He leaves the stage in seeming rage—
The master senses danger—

“You know this skit! Because of it
I was humiliated—
Your words adverse worked in reverse—
Tonight I’m vindicated.”
This scene repaid the past tirade—
The master taught a lesson—
The added bit tagged to the skit
Was justice paid in person.


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This article has been read 591 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Linda Wright05/13/10
Great read! I loved this story! There is surely nothing wrong with YOUR rhyme and rhythm. I give this great reviews!
Mona Purvis05/13/10
Just grand! I envy the ability to string thoughts into such well-phrased poetry.

Mona
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/14/10
This was a pleasure to read--just excellently written.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge05/17/10
Very well done!
Beth LaBuff 05/20/10
What a wonderful story! I love your alliteration and poetic form here. Congratulations on your Editor's Choice award!
Gregory Kane05/20/10
Delightful. Well done
Charla Diehl 05/25/10
It's easy to understand why this entertaining read was recognized by the judges. Great work with this and congratulations on your EC placement.