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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Critique/Review (for writers) (05/06/10)

TITLE: Editing the Dragon
By Michael Joshua


Blanche: “Excuse me, Rose, you’re about to make a grave mistake. You come to me if you want advice on men. You go to Dorothy if there’s grammar you want help with.”

Dorothy: “You ended that sentence with a preposition just to bait me.”

Blanche: “What would I do that for?”

Golden Girls – Season 7 – “The Pope’s Ring”

Editing and critiquing… It is absolutely the worst part of the writing process. But if a writer is going to be successful, he or she must learn to look at the work in progress, take it apart and put it back together.

The Fire-Brething Breathing Dragon

I grabbed reached into the ear mouth of the dragon. As he breathed exhaled his fiery heated breath toward me, I felt myself moving back shrinking away from him. Reaching Stretching my left arm toward the wall, I felt around for the weapon javline sharpened pencil.

With the weapon firmly in my hand grip, I stood up straight and threw out my chest thrust the spear-like tool at the dragon’s throat. My aim was off, and I hit his eye ear. Fortunately for me, it was stuck I watched as it bobbled up and down while he stood shaking his head trying to get it loose free.

I laughed, which only served to make him even more mad angry. Reaching back toward the can, I touched an eraser. Wrapping my hands fingers around the dozen or so number 2 pencils, I was set poised to thorw throw them. With increasing accuracy, I met hit my target. Ping! Ping! Ping! One after another, the pencils the points lodged themselves into the dragon.

There was no blood, but because for some reason, there was fluff floating around the air in the den cave. Unsure where it came from, I was slapping trying to knock it to the ground. The dragon saw my confusion and lunged made his move toward me. I was ready. I had a shooting tool – strange ammunition though – tiny pieces of metal in a “U” shape. I didn’t care, I kept pulling the trigger squeezing the weapon causing the tiny missiles to pop all over the dragon’s head.

The dragon seemed disinterested unconcerned as he continued his forward progress. Suddenly, I realized that my ammunition was all gone spent. I looked around for something else to fight off the dragon… Nothing… I came up empty.

Then, from behind me, I heard my mom’s voice, “Jimmy! What are you doing?”


She reached down and picked up the dragon that I had been fighting. As she removed the pencil from the green purple stuffed animal’s ear, she was shaking her head finger at me.

“You clean up this room right now; pencils all over the floor… And why are there staples everywhere?”

“Sorry, mom.”

”Dinner “Lunch is almost ready, after you pick these things up, we will eat and read a book.”

“Do we have one about dragons?”

“We’ll see.”

When mom left the bedroom room, the door closed behind her. Picking up the pencils and throwing the spent staples into the trash, I noticed that the dragon move lifted his head up and looked directly at me. I grabbed him by the neck and placed shoved him into the box of toys.

“It’s lunchtime. Maybe we can play again later.”

I closed the door behind me as I headed to the table.

I swear I heard a moan sigh come from the toy box as I walked into the bathroom to wash up.

“Later,” I muttered at the doorway. “We can play again later.”

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Sara Harricharan 05/13/10
Heehee! This was hilarious! I like this dragon-editing game--certainly very true to real life. Very fun to read and I love the fact that it was just between the dragon and the MC.

Very creative to have actual 'edits' throughout the story, a little annoying at first, but a cute touch. Thanks for sharing the laugh! ^_^
Gregory Kane05/16/10
I enjoyed the fun and games with the dragon. I'm afraid that I haven't the foggiest what the introduction was about - golden girls and final prepositions? Sorry you lost me. More scaly beasty please!
Brenda Shipman 05/16/10
I got the connection with the Golden Girls' scene and thought it a fun quirky introduction. All I can say about this entry is CLEVER - in all CAPS - CLEVER! Found myself giggling all the way through.