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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Critique/Review (for writers) (05/06/10)

TITLE: The Two Books
By June Dickie
05/11/10


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words of fire that cut through stone
and separate the flesh from bone,
that shine upon the hidden sin
and thus reveal the wrong within

such words He used to write His book,
that all who take the time to look
would know the Truth and be set free
from judgment that one day will be

this Book was given to vett our ways
and lead us through life's puzzling maze,
it's not for us to give critique,
but through it, life eternal seek

and then another book is writ
for each of us, a manuscript,
recording what we do and say,
and think and hope, and love and pray

this Book records for all to see,
and ponder through eternity,
rewards for those who chose His way
e'en when it cost them to obey

so let us now do our "review",
consider what we say and do,
and purify our hearts, that we
may on the day we bow the knee,
rejoice to see Him face to face,
accepted, loved, by bounteous grace,
and then receive what He would give,
the prize of Life, with Him to live


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This article has been read 273 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Benjamin Graber05/13/10
Good poem about the two books that are so critical to life!
I would suggest you be careful to find creative rhymes that flow with the poem. A lot of the rhymes you used feel like they were "forced" to me, as a reader.
I really like your opening stanza, both gripping and interesting, perfect for drawing the reader in.
The Masked Truelovers05/13/10
As a reader, I thought the poem was well-written. ...It's just not totally clear to me what you intended to show was being reviewed. I see us as reviewing God as the writer of the Bible and God as reviewing us as we write our own book of life.
Marilyn Schnepp 05/15/10
Without the Title to give me understanding, I might not have understood where this was going at first. But the two Books you write about, The "Bible" and the "Book of Life", were not only a creative way to approach this week's Topic, but done so beautifully in poetic form. I only wish you had capitalized the First words, at least; but the smooth flow of the poem, the thoughts, the message and the creativity far outshown the petty lack of capitals. Kudos! Great job! Impressive.
Brenda Shipman05/16/10
Tremendous truths in this lovely poem. Loved the comparison of the two books. I agree with Benjamin about some of the rhyming seeming forced, but not enough to distract a lot from the message. However, the lack of capital letters at the beginning of each line was a distraction for me, but I tend to be OCD about punctuation and grammar - picky, picky, picky! "Normal" people won't be bothered by it, I guess. ;)