The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow this is powerful. I have chills.
I really enjoyed the sentiment of this tale and your dialogue is excellent, but I was at a loss as to when and where this took place, so it didn't have the impact I think it would have have if I had a better understanding.
I agree that the setting might have been a little tighter but I think the story on its own stands. It might add to the power of the piece to give it a formal setting.

Overall- I think it's very well written. I love the ending- it reminds me of a song by JJ Heller- "If I could not hold a pen, I would write of you upon my heart instead."

I'm not sure if it speaks more to craft & skill or more to the writer's passion or drive to write- but maybe that's all mixed together.

Nicely done. You had me drawn in, and I would have loved to read more.
05/05/10
Wow, a chilling tale! Your ultimate message, "Jesus is Lord" is timeless. Very good work!
I personally like the fact that you did not name the setting or the time. My mind went to WW2 in a country where the Nazis reigned. But the truth is it could happen anywhere at any time if we do not remain diligent.

If we start looking the other way when evil comes by, this story could be set in the near future in the US. As the wise man said "All it takes for evil to reign is for good men to do nothing."

Your story shows that in a powerful way. Although I could see some arguing that it wasn't on target, to me my craft is my passion and this piece surely shows passion.
05/05/10
Great story - I could picture every scene. I'm not sure about something, tho - was Jorge the one who write on the bridge wall and was arrested, and that's why he wasn't at the hall? Great word choice, btw - he was "arrested" by the newspaper headline. I love the ending - chilling. I'm reminded that no matter what "they" take away, the Word of God will never be silenced.
Now this is my 3rd read through and I still get chills. Congratulations on your EC.
05/06/10
Hey congrats on your Editor's Choice award with this amazing entry!
05/06/10
I am so glad to see this one in the Top Ten! It was one of the only ones I got time to read this week and I liked it very much. I don't know what else to say but Congratulations.
Excellent in so many ways. Especially liked a lot of the vivid descriptions.
Congratulations in placing in the top 15 in your level and in the top 30 overall.
I felt like this could be a snippet to a much larger story. You had me engaged from the moment I started reading, and I wanted to know more about these characters.

You used your 750 words well, but that limit often leaves me craving more with great stories like these. Thank you for sharing!