The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/30/10
Excellent! I really like this. Very well written and full of humour.
The first part was suspenseful and I longed to hear more. Then in the second part I found myself laughing. I am content.
I love this. Thanks for a good laugh.
05/01/10
I want to know what happens with the princess and the handsome ship mate!! Loved this - it made me giggle.
05/02/10
Ah yes... Seeing a story in everything. 'Tis the curse of a writer, is it not? Good job. And I think I want to hear the rest of that story you started. :)
05/02/10
Do we all do that, once we're hooked? Constantly gather story ideas?

I was delighted with the princess story placed within the real story. Left me wanting more of both!
This is great. Well told and you had me stuck in the story she was writing! Loved the humor with the cook. Made me lol!
05/02/10
Loved this! Beatiful writing and really fun humour. I think you captured the writer's mindset very well with your cute MC.
05/03/10
Very cute story. Lots happening here but you pulled it off well.
05/03/10
This is so much fun to read, right from the beginning! We do have to be careful about where we jot down those story ideas, don't we?? :) Loved it!
05/05/10
Oh what fun! I was wrapped up in your MC's story… (you must finish it for us!) :) Then your MC's own story as a waitress was so creative and your title is so clever! You show great writer's skill/craft with this! :)
AND SOMETHING'S WRONG WTTH EYES BLUE AS THE OCEAN? :-)
I LOVED BOTH STORIES.
05/05/10
Ha, you must finish the first story! This was very well written as the master you are :-)


Okay, just a tad of red ink. The last paragraph seemed a little jumbled and I almost missed the perfect punch at the end. Maybe italized her thought.

Right on topic, she sounds like me as I fumble to find my own voice!
First of all, I loved the humorous ending. It was the icing on the cake for me.

My only complaint (which isn't really a complaint at all) is that I was getting into the whole story on the ship and didn't want it to end. However, you did a great job of getting me daydreaming and then jerking me out of that dream just as your writer in your story got jerked out by her reality in the diner. Great job! Anytime you can make the reader feel what your character is feeling, that is a sign of some great writing.

Loved this! Thanks for sharing. :)