The Official Writing Challenge
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I love a good chuckle in the morning!
05/02/10
Hehehe This was cute. I was wondering where this was going, and loved the ending. While I've never done it, there are "instructions" I think I could improve upon. :)
Such a build up!
I thought you were on target.
Cute!
Definitely on topic! Endearing story and I like the message...anything we writers get published is exciting. I like the down to earth humbleness of this.
05/02/10
What a great take on the topic! Just love the creativity, Gerald's whole-heartedness and the mom's support.

I feel good. :)
I think people just had a busy weekend and weren't commenting much, as this looks good to me, and I enjoyed it. The thing that tripped me up personally (but may not have bothered anyone else at all)was the line "I thought you might want to give a copy of your first published work to all your friends." I found myself stopping and spending quite a bit of time trying to figure that out, feeling like I should know what it meant from the story above but that I'd missed something. If it were me, I'd leave everything as is, except move that one line to the end as the final punch. Then I, the reader, would've figured that she bought all those pizzas because he loved them and she wanted to help him celebrate. And yet, the line, which is great in itself, would be "icing on the cake" for your ending. However, you're a better writer than I am. I'm just telling you my PERSONAL tripping point as ONE reader.
05/03/10
This was fun and inventive, and easy to enjoy!
05/03/10
Love Love LOVE this story! Yes, it's mind boggling all the writing that is done. Someone certainly has to do it. Very out-of-the-box! :)
05/03/10
Oh, this is so funny and out of the box. Loved it!
05/03/10
Oh, this is FUN! It reminds me of a short temp assignment I had years ago at an ad agency that created labels for well-known products. They really did obsess over every word and every graphic detail. Good job--well done!
Funny and, as anyone who has attempted to read english instructions on a product made in a non-speaking country knows, giving product instructions is very important!

(My last sentence was cumbersome! Hope it was understandable :-)
Edit! Sorry, I meant to say "non-English speaking country". Having a non-speaking country just doesn't make sense, does it? Lol.
05/04/10
Okay - you got me there CAT. Very inventive and kept me in the dark till just the right moment.

And goodness knows writing instructions that make sense is apparently a skill few have.
I had to read this again because I enjoyed it so much the first time. I do believe it was even better the second read through!
05/05/10
Oh LOL! This is wonderful, the way you advance your story (and propel your reader). You put a smile on my face. (and I gotta tell you… I miss Iowa's Breadeaux --and Casey's-- Pizzas)
05/05/10
This was great! totally loved it.
05/05/10
Interesting! The start and end sum up the story to show how the two relate! This is probably one of the reasons why sometimes we needn’t follow all the instructions in the guide to get it right. LoL (“,)