The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/25/10
You kinda lost me with this one. Sorry, not sure what to say.
Well...I totally didn't get this, but I reeeally tried. The best I could come up with is that the elder was a demon in disguise? Will say though...the farting gave me a good chuckle :)
I too was a tad lost at times, but I enjoyed the part where church is meant for so much more than just listening. The older blind man was quite wise in his way.It's also a good demonstration on how not to act in church. Keep writing!
Your explanation definitely helped me somewhat. Thank you for taking the time to explain. Now that I understand it a little better, I appreciate your effort and the irony.
04/29/10
For me, this entry needed a second chapter to fill in the questions this one leaves. Your explanation on the message board was that second chapter. Thank you.
04/29/10
I'm sorry, my anonymous friend, but I too could only try to "gas" where this was going. I could use puns about "atmospheric" writing, but I won't.
04/29/10
Guess this one needed and author's note, eh?...

"A Dim Ill-Mannered Place" is an homage to Hemingway's "A Clean Well-Lighted Place" in which three characters dialogue in a certain setting and their dialogue and the surrounding events tie the three characters into one character at different times in his life. The structure and flow is intentionally set up to follow the original story and the italicized lines are plays off his use of the Lord's prayer and the concept of nothingness.

So, I replaced suicide with farting, alcoholism with prayer, a bar with church, Our Father with the Apostle's Creed, and nothingness with somethingness...

all that was attempted, not sure how well I pulled it off, but I hope those notes help
05/11/10
I appreciate that you have had a lot of comments from confused readers. I would just like to say that I really liked your entry, even without the explanation. I thought it was wonderfully atmospheric and the humour at the end was naughty but somehow fitting to the earthy tone.