The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 857 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Your story has a great plot and a great message as well. We could all learn from WRigley. Well done!
04/24/10
Very nicely done. The dialog was spot on, and the story moved with just the right pace. Great ending--although I think it is a bit rare, unfortunately....
Definitely a "feel good" story and Wrigley's mom deserves some credit too, for raising such a caring daughter :)
Good job with the dialogue!
04/26/10
I think the name "Wrigley" for a girl is adorable! I was drawn into your story, eager to see where it progressed. I totally enjoyed it, and your ending had a beautiful message. Very nice work!
04/27/10
I really liked your story plot. You were able to squeeze quite a lot of plot into 750 words. Enjoyed the characters very much!
04/28/10
Very nicely written and definitely an interesting read! I especially like the way you bring out the characters in your story in showing their innocence and teachable spirits. I wish there are more characters like Wrigley these days who are so sensitive to the needs of others to want to help them, yet without making them look bad.
Very enjoyable story. Love your characters- especially Wrigley and her warm and caring attitude. Well done.
Oh Shann, I always love your stories so much. I so enjoyed this and I really loved the ending. What a wonderful person Wrigley is.
What a great story and teaching lesson as well. I loved the spirit of the 12 year-old protagonist, wish we had more like her. Also, the wisdom of the mom.
04/28/10
Shann, you are such an encourager that I suspect this is written from your own heart. Who doesn't love stories that help us grow and make us feel good?
Love it!

Mona
Shann, I fell in love with your MC...such a wise girl. You made the teacher's unfairness plausible. I liked it that she could admit she'd been wrong. This story sounds "real."
04/28/10
Good job Shann, I enjoyed your story. I enjoyed the fact that the daughter was mature enough to turn it into a witness.
04/28/10
Nice story Shann. I would love to have a daughter like Wrigley. I love a happy ending.
04/28/10
This reminded me of the wonderful young adult fiction I read growing up. I loved how the bad situation turned into such a wonderful one in many ways :-)
I applaud your MC's boldness and her taking of initiative to solve the problem. I agree with her "that shouldn't happen", but I like that her mother was willing to step in and act if needed. I'm not sure it was realistic that the mother would have offered her help and the teacher apologized, but certainly affirmed the MC's passion to help her friend. The way in which you told this story made me believe that the MC grew stronger in her convictions and principles from having taken action. Thanks for the happy ending!
Wow, this is an excellent story! I love your plot and it is very well written. I like how Wrigley and her friend help Ashley. And I like how you put that last piece in about God. Thanks for giving us all such a lovely read!
I enjoyed this much, too. And I was carried along by Wrigley's emotions and response to the situation in a special way. It may be I was asleep at the switch but one thing that confused me was Ashley's learning to read in, what looked to be, just one weekend, by the way it was phrased. It's possible though, that I missed some signal that more time was passing.
Writing can evoke all kinds of emotions depending on the tone of the piece, and I would say that this one was an "all smiles" tone. Definitely a piece of writing to make us feel good and remind us that we need to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of other people.

Thank you for sharing your writing with all of us. :)
04/29/10
What a precious story! And it has taught a great lesson too, bringing back some of my childhood days and humiliation. One never forgets a teacher's meanness. I recall the time the teacher told me, in front of the whole class, that the story I turned in was too good to be mine. I must have cheated. I didn't. And this has stayed with me for 6 decades. I loved your story. And it certainly was on the topic....Blessings...Helen
I just read your story and I thought it was great. Thanks for all the advice you've given me on mine.