Ugly, harsh words formed in my mind. Like a geyser they waited to spew from my mouth. If the Holy Spirit hadn’t put a check in my spirit, I would hurl insults, accusations and untruths at my husband without regret or remorse. A verse I had read just that morning came to mind.
“You are a letter written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, a letter written not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” (i)
Those words coming to mind again pulled me up short. God was speaking very clearly to me. I was the only letter my husband might ever read as a message of God’s love and if I continued to spew venom as had been my nature in the past, before Jesus came in and changed my life then my husband would never come to know Him. My mind drifted back…
“You’re nothing! You’re a nobody!” I had screamed, my throat raw from a tirade that had been going on for a good twenty minutes. “When are you going to change? NEVER! I don’t know why I ever married you. All you do is sit around and play video games, never lifting a finger to help around here. I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you! I’m sick of our marriage! If it weren’t for the kids I would be gone in a minute.” I ended in barely a whisper.
My husband had sat there staring at the TV screen.
I had marched over to him, yanked the game controller out of his hands and cracked him over the head with it, hard. He winced, but didn’t say a word…
Now I wanted to do the same thing, but God was telling me I’m a letter, written by Him; that my husband could see God by my changed life and loving actions.
Another Scripture surfaced from my morning reading…
“Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands' authority. Some husbands may not obey God's word. Their wives could win these men [for Christ] by the way they live without saying anything. Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are. Wives must not let their beauty be something external. Beauty doesn't come from hairstyles, gold jewelry, or clothes. Rather, beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious.” (ii)
Without saying anything… a gentle and quiet attitude…
I walked away from where he was sitting in the living room, into the kitchen. Walking over to the kitchen sink, I gazed out the lacy curtained window. I saw the delicate pale pink beauty of the blossoming dogwood tree. Gentleness… quietness… something God considers precious.
I bowed my head in prayer. “Father,” I whispered, “I need you. I want to win my husband over without saying anything, as it says in your Word. I want to be a love letter sent from you directly to him, that he reads and understands…” My voice broke. “Oh God,” I sobbed, “please mold me and change me so my husband will see your heart of love when he sees my gentle and quiet attitude, knowing that I’m changed because of you and in seeing that will want what I have found in you… In Jesus name, Amen.”
Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, and putting a smile on my face, I walked into the living room.
“Honey, what would you like for dinner tonight?”
My husband looked up at me, his face registering shock.
Inwardly I grinned, sening up a silent prayer of thanksgiving, continuing to ask God to change me…
(i) 2 Corinthians 3:3b
(ii) 1 Peter 3:1-4
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.