The Official Writing Challenge
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You added quite a bit of excitement to the story. I felt like I was really there. My only thought is really insignificant, but the MC held his crucifix , is it too early in the formation of the church to have a crucifix? It really doesn't matter nor take away from the message, but I did find myself wondering.

I looked up the verse after I read your story and thought you did a great job of bringing it to life and making it understandable to all.
Very descriptive, nice literary touch. You brought excitement to the bbilical story. Bravo!
04/22/10
Well done, Debby! Congratulations for placing in your level! Great, great job.
04/23/10
Deborah, congrats on placing in the top fifteen in Level 3!

If you haven't already, be sure to check out the highest rankings on the forums:

http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=29573