The Official Writing Challenge
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03/20/10
I'm a "find images in the clouds" person too. :) Your title made me smile. I enjoyed your "life in chaos" to "tranquility" story and the illustration of Psalm 23.
This is a great story. Something I could easily see happening, I hung onto every word and felt the MC's pain and the delight in the daughter.
03/22/10
I really enjoyed this entry. I loved the way God spoke to her through her daughter. And the lamb in the sky made me smile - I can imagine God painting images in the sky to get our attention! You wrote the emotions - pain, loss, guilt very well and they contrasted strongly with the start of healing and peace she found in the end. Great job!
03/22/10
A heartfelt tale that came together in a thoroughly satisfying conclusion
What a sad picture you painted that is all too common in our world. I'm so thankful for the words of hope. The lamb in the clouds was the perfect symbol. I'm so glad to see your well written interesting entries again, Eliza!
03/22/10
The MC's raw emotions tore my heart - very real-life. And the ending gave me goosebumps. LOVE this - GREAT job!
I liked the way you wove your title into your story - that alone reveals a lot. Your story also, to me, illustrates the importance of seemingly insignificant acts that occur in our everyday lives. The grandmother giving the coloring book to her granddaughter. Who knew in the scheme of things just how important that one act would become. You show great story telling ability here - great job.
03/23/10
What a lot of real emotion you've woven into this story... pain and healing wrapped together. Sometimes we need a child's vision to remind us of the beauty in the world, and the reality of God's love. A lovely story, beautifully written. So glad to have you back at FaithWriters, my friend!
03/24/10
Great overall, minus a few speed bumps. The title was very clever and the opening was a classic hook. I had to read on. Look forward to more of your work. God bless.
03/24/10
Almost too realistic betrayal of a sad story...but there is always hope!

I was a little confused when the girl thought her mom was an angel...or was she saying to her mother that she forgave her? That part was a little unclear to me.

Loved how you took the snippets of Psalms 23 through her mind. Forever and ever. Amen!
What a perfect title. I winced and ached for the mother and daughter. What a tragedy it is when poor choices and stress wreak havoc on body, spirit and relationships. As has been so aptly stated your story of pain and anguish turning to peace, trust and tranquility through faith is wonderfully written. I’m so glad to see you back in the challenge too, my friend!
03/24/10
The red ink I found has already been mentioned by others, so I'll simply say that your MC was wonderfully realistic. Well done!
03/24/10
"Real"... tender... really liked the title... wonderful lesson about pain and God's love and care. And how children often see God in an uncluttered way.

(Need a comma in the "angel" quote. Might clear the confusion about who is speaking.)
03/24/10
Lovely twist. I like the ending and how the title fits in with it. Good character in the daughter!
03/24/10
Not hard for the reader to feel the anguish of the MC. You did a very good job telling the story.
I stumbled over a place or two where a comma was out of place.
Love how it's God's Word that has all the answers and she knew deep within.

mona
03/25/10
This was excellent so very real. Should have placed this week, makes you wonder what are those judges looking for. :)
03/26/10
Eliza, congrats on making the top fifteen!
05/01/10
This was very moving and realistic. Great job with this!