Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Wow! (03/11/10)

TITLE: Love Does Exist
By Kellie Henningsen
03/17/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

George shoved the eggs into his mouth, washed them down with juice, and yelled to his mom. “The bus is here!” Grabbing his backpack, he rushed for the door.

Clara hurried to kiss him good bye and stood in the morning sun to watch him run down the driveway. She couldn’t believe how fast he was growing. At ten years of age, he was in need of bigger clothes all the time.

***

Dimitri shivered as he stood in line for breakfast. His filthy clothes hung from his frail body like it was a hangar. A worker at the Romanian orphanage shoved the daily allotment of rice and a cup of dirty water towards him. Casting furtive glances around the room, Dimitri devoured his meager meal. There were those who would steal the food if he wasn’t careful.

With longing eyes, he searched the world he could see through the open window. Grey clouds formed wavy lines across the sky. There has to be love in this world. But where?

***

At 3pm sharp, Clara pulled her Cadillac up to the curb at George’s school. She could see her son coming out and tapped the horn to let him know she was there.

“So, Mom, where we headin again?” George asked as he jumped into the backseat.

Clara pulled into traffic. “To the mall. Remember?” She glanced at him in the review mirror. “We’re buying stuff to fill one of those shoeboxes. You know…the mission’s project at church.”

“So, like this kid,” George snapped his gum, “he’s going to get more than just a shoebox of stuff, right?” He blew a perfect bubble.

“No, George. We’ve got to do right by this kid as this is it. The list says even soap, toothbrushes, and things like that are good.”

George’s bubble burst. “Are you kidding me? Those aren’t gifts!”

***

Dimitiri’s bare feet shuffled forward on the wooden floor. In slow procession, each child went through the daily ritual of scooping from a bucket of dirty water. They splashed it on their faces. Teeth were never even a consideration. People don’t all live like this, do they?

***

Walmart was the first stop for the mother and son team. They found several hygiene items, some warm socks, crayons, and a small pad of paper.

“Mom, seriously. It’s practically full! This is not right.” George sighed. “Can we go to the toy department now?”

Clara agreed and they made their way into the first aisle. “Here Mom, stuff this in,” George declared proudly while holding the latest Transformer.

“Let’s look for something a bit smaller, shall we? “

They found that a yo-yo, slinky, and some small bouncy balls would nestle into the nooks and crannies left in the box.

“A little lame but they’ll fit,” George lamented. “This poor kid.”

***

The wind picked up as Dimitri sat in the doorway of his building. A commotion on the road caught his attention. There was a group of children coming. Dimitri could hear laughter. He watched in amazement as the boys tossed a ball back and forth. A glimmer of hope began to grow in his eyes. Joy does exist.

***

“I think one last thing can fit in here George,” Clara said as she reorganized the box for the tenth time. “What should it be?”

George looked at the list of options and wondered what final item this child would want.

***

The day was over and Dimitri climbed into bed. The little boy next to him began to cry as he did every night. Without hesitation, Dimitri crawled from under his thin sheet, and curled up behind little Radu. “Shhh, it’s ok Radu,” he patted his head. “The dark is not so bad. It’ll be morning soon. Just sleep now. Shhh” As he comforted the boy, Dimitri’s own heart steadied despite the darkness of the night.

***

“A flashlight!” George held it up. “I love shining light everywhere and making shapes on the wall. Maybe this kid will to.”

“Okay, we’re done then!” Clara smiled at George.

But George wasn’t smiling. He looked at the box in disbelief. “Wow…so little. That’s something.”

***

A Samaritan’s Purse volunteer held out a colorfully decorated box to Dimitri. He reached up with shaking hands and took the treasure. Finding a corner of the yard, he sat down to examine its contents.

His eyes filled with tears as he removed the lid. Wow…so much! Love does exist.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 637 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Robyn Burke03/18/10
i enjoyed this read from start to finish. Like how you weave the two point of views together. A very satisfying conclusion!
Dana McReynolds03/19/10
I loved it. This could convince anyone to pack a shoebox.
Catrina Bradley 03/21/10
Tearing up. I love the back and forth POV's woven together - Each scene and MC is masterfully written. Fabulous entry.
Beth LaBuff 03/21/10
Beautiful work on this! I especially like the creative format you used! It's wonderful to hear what this organization is doing. Demitri brought tears to my eyes too.
AnneRene' Capp 03/22/10
Really like how your story showed two different POV's. Thought it was creative.

Well told story, and wonderful inspiration to us all; we could all do more, and the cost to us is minimal, but so huge to those less fortunate.
Laury Hubrich 03/22/10
Wow! I love the way you mixed in the two boy's lives. Wow! It gave me goose bumps. I love the ending! Wow!
Carol Slider 03/22/10
The contrasting viewpoints here are wonderful, reminding us of everything we have to be thankful for... and what all of us should be doing to help others not so fortunate. A beautiful story!
Rachel Phelps03/23/10
Loved the contrasting worlds in this story. Masterfully done!
Jackie Wilson03/24/10
Your story touched my heart. Wonderful job on the writing.
Jackie Wilson03/25/10
Congrats on your EC and Masters placing! Well done!
Charla Diehl 03/25/10
It's easy to see why this has a winning ribbon. I enjoyed the contrasting paragraphs which underscored the boys and their circumstances in life.
These purses do mean so much to the recipients--our church has been doing this for years.
Great job--congratulations.
Beth LaBuff 03/25/10
Super congrats, Kellie, on your level placing and Editor's Choice!
Connie Dixon03/28/10
We have so much - we are so fortunate, rich even - and we don't even know it. Thanks for showing this story from two opposite perspectives. Shoeboxes are a big deal. Congratulations!
Troy Manning04/11/10
Thank you for sharing!--Liked the parallel structuring.