The Official Writing Challenge
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Clever idea, seeing the birthing process through the eyes of the newborn. So many places you could go with this. Also, like the name Wrigley. Very original!

Would like to have seen the newborn with more of a positive attitude, though, since birth's are such a joyous occasion and perhaps the nurses finding the cuter aspects of Wrigley :)
03/13/10
So interesting, the things the infant noticed and commented on. Very creative, especially your use of the humph-thump!
03/15/10
Very beautiful writing, my friend! Such a creative POV, and the peaceful ending tying it all together. Really lovely to read!
03/15/10
I'm glad to see the creative juices flowing. This was a nice piece.
Technically speaking, I felt that in a couple of places you had attributions that interrupted the flow of your monologues. For example "wondered Wrigley as she looked at her own petite hands" I would have dumped the attribution.
But, hey, you're getting there. Don't let anything or anyone discourage you!
Gregory
03/15/10
A totally different angle on the hmph topic. Nice! :) I liked this sweet portrayal of a baby's entry into the world.
03/15/10
Ha! Very good. Loved the POV. Loved the line about ugly at the cradle pretty at the tale. Enjoyed the story. Had an authentic feel to it. God bless.
This story deeply moved me. I think you handled the baby's POV very well -- and that you gave us a glimpse of the possibility of that God-awareness in the womb that COULD be true, and how cold and cruel the world might seem to a baby on first exposure. It seems likely the womb WOULD seem a much safer, warm, and secure place to a baby than out in our world -- probably why they cry a lot? :-) I literally said, "Ahhh . . . " at the end, (the baby so adorable, finally getting to cuddle in its Mom's arms and hear the comforting heartbeat again.)
I enjoyed very much the view from the newborn, especially the connection with God.
03/16/10
Awww, what a delightfully written piece! I kept anticipating the moment when Wrigley would hear the beat of her mother's heart again. So sweet, good job with the tone and voice of this!
You know who I thot of when you mentioned the name Wrigley?

Years ago, for a creative writing class, I did a piece very very similar to this, and it was a traumatic experience for the baby.

Makes one wonder how soon a child believes that she is ugly and unlovable.
Very different POV. I'm sure babies know more than we give them credit for. Wrigley vowed to work on a way back to the comforts of her former world,. Sometimes I can relate to that. Enjoyable read, well done.
Exceptional style...a breath of fresh air..
Awww, cute story. I like the idea of them having clear minds in the womb.