Put Your Big Girl Panties On
Oh sweet-girl, please—please
I’m begging you on my knees.
Just sit on the Dora potty,
Mommy wants you to tee-tee.
“Hmph!” She grunts,
As she sits on her throne.
Her arms are crossed,
And eyes like stone.
You’re almost three,
I plead with her still.
Holding up new Dora panties,
To entice her strong will.
She looks at the panties,
With Dora smiling wide….
Saying ‘NO’ with such humph,
That I just want to hide!
Then I run into the kitchen,
Getting her favorite treat.
Slide them under her nose,
Knowing Gummies make her weak.
My sweet-girl eyed the candy,
So I said, “Please, potty for me.”
She folded back her arms again,
And grunted, “Hmph” with ease.
Help me, Lord, Help me,
Do you not see my plight?
She has to be potty trained,
Before too many more nights!
The pre-school in our neighborhood,
Has one itsy-bitsy rule.
You have to wear Big-Girl panties,
Before the first day of school.
“Hmph!” I mumbled as I called my mom,
She’ll tell me what I should do.
“Hello, mom? Please help me--please,”
She won’t potty and I’m so blue.
I heard my mother snicker,
As I told her all I’ve done.
She paused then said with wisdom…
“You’ve done everything right, Hon.”
Then why isn’t it working?
Why won’t she tee-tee?
I only have a few more weeks,
To get her into panties.
“Mom, do you think there’s something wrong?
All my other friend’s daughters are trained.
I’m just a bad mother.”
Tears rolled down as I complained.
Honey, don’t you stress,
It’s going to be okay.
She will go when she’s ready.
Today’s not “Tee-Tee Day.”
“Alright Mom,” as I hung up the phone,
I headed back to the Dora throne.
Where I saw toilet paper everywhere,
“Oh no, no, no,” I loudly moaned.
“Tee-tee, Mommy, tee-tee,”
She said with such glee.
I looked in her potty and what did I see?
A bowl full of tee-tee, Oh Glory Be!
We laughed and we squealed,
And she ate Gummies for her prize.
I thought to myself, her Daddy is next,
He’s gonna teach her how to drive!
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