The Official Writing Challenge
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This was outstanding. You used so many descriptive words. I knew I was in for a treat when I read the word industry.

It took me by surprise, and the surprises kept coming! I loved how the girl who wouldn't turn into much was a doctor.

You did an awesome job with a sad story. Again I say Excellent!
this was tender,sweet, heartbreaking and altogether exceptional!
03/14/10
What a tender and heartwrenching story.

You switched tenses here and there and seemed to go from Belle's pov to Alma's.

But I really liked the story and style. Well done!
03/14/10
What a lovely portrayal of a faithful daughter! You may want to review tenses and POV shifts; Jan covers them well on her classes on the boards. You have a talent in describing the characters through their thoughts and actions. Well done!
Oh my gosh, this is an absolutely heart warming and heart wrenching story, at the same time. I look forward to reading more of your writing!
03/14/10
This story gave great insight to dimentia. Very creative perspective. One thing I noticed that you might want to consider for future: Out of your first 6 paragraphs, 5 started out with Belle...Might want to consider a different approach.
When I realized what was going on with Belle, and let out an "Awww" sound. So sad. Alma has her hands full and this story seems so real!
03/15/10
Way kool! You got me, for sure. A very pleasant surprise. Good characterization and tying the generations together. More than creative, it is very real and honest. God bless.
Oh... this left me with tears in my eyes... very well done
03/15/10
Love this story! The way you gently unfolded the story and the characters was awesome - drew me in and made me truly care. Be careful to watch your tense - you drifted into present for a paragraph or two close to the beginning. You also may have drifted a little far from the topic. Good job showing the characters through dialog and action. The ending is heartbreakingly good.
You did a great job of "showing" your story and allowing it to unfold beautifully.
03/17/10
Very tender, very creative. I love this story. Masterfully written.
A heart warming and very touching story. I was a little confused at first when the phone rang, but then I realised it was Alma's daughter phoning. Four generations-just wonderful, but so sad that Great G-ma can't enjoy them.
03/17/10
Very well written. You've brought out the moods in the story and blended it into the setting very well. I was drawn in as though within the story!
03/18/10
Carole, congrats on making the top fifteen in Advanced with this touching story
05/07/10
So incredibly heart-breaking! I loved the duality of this...you really had me going in the beginning and it turned out so sad, but I'm glad she has a daughter that cares so much about her. Excellently done! ^_^