The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1069 times
Member Comments
I love it. The pain is a genuine pain and the struggle real. I felt like I was sitting in her home watching the events! Well done, hon!
The present tense kinda bothered me,but it worked. A painful but loving end. Thank you.
I really loved this phrase: "She relates well with those consumed by alcoholism. The air seems thick with the danger of following in their footsteps."

The tense threw me too, but only because it's unusual I think.

Her agony was real, you brought it to life. God Bless, Karen

I think this is something many women face. Filling the void they feel in their hearts with things other than Christ. Thanks for reminding us that we can only be fulfilled with HIM!

The writing was well done... I personally like reading present tense now and then... good job!
You made the present tense work well, and her inner dialogue is so realistic. I think you made a worthwhile jump to Advanced!
I agree with the above comments. Good story lines.
I like the present tense; there were a few awkward shifts in the 4th and 7th paragraphs. But I'd keep it present tense as you reveal your character's immediate feelings to your reader. And you did a superb job of that. I feel like I know her, and I rejoice in the ending.
I love this story. Your character reminds me of many women I have met. Good job. A very real feel to this piece.
Agreed, I feel like I was watching a movie too. I could feel and see everything. Loved this! Thanks for sharing!
Ditto to all of the above. This was so real. Great job!