The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 478 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Very nice poem. I enjoyed the ease with which you wrote. I also enjoyed the retribution when the spider came along, but it was great that both siblings turned to God.
03/06/10
The story itself is quite unique and has a good point; however, I believe if written in story form, instead of poetic form, it might have come over better. (Just my opinion, of course) The poem doesn't have a smooth rhythmic beat, thus ruining the whole story line. But remember, I'm just one voice in many...so don't give up, it's just my view that a story instead of a poem might have been excellent!