The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
I loved it. I know God has a great sense of humor and it showed up brilliantly in this comic piece.
03/04/10
Well written and a great picture of human nature and or marriage.
03/07/10
Poor guy, took a snake to point out the beam in his own eye. I liked this humorous look at a typical marital "misunderstanding". Nicely done!
03/10/10
Very cute story! With ultra-short fiction, it usually works best to stick with one scene, so the writing doesn't get too hurried. You did well, but it seemed to me like you were putting a LOT into 750 words. Think about narrowing the scene and implying the spiritual lesson rather than stating it. It'll save you words to use on the piece. Nicely done!
03/10/10
I agree with the above. But it was a fun story and the vignettes were typical of young marriage. Ahhh, weren't we emotional back then, over stuff that barely makes us blink now.
03/10/10
LOL! I had to smile at the "You with beams in your own eye, better not be spending time pulling motes out of mine!" This was entertaining with a good message to boot. (side note: I was cheering for the wife.) :)
03/10/10
This was funny and you really got my attention when that slithering reptile showed up. Great descriptions and suspense.
03/10/10
This feels very realistic--everyone, I guess, has certain unrealistic expectations as newlyweds. I do think there's a difference between real "fear" and that creepy, visceral reaction we have when we see certain creatures... but I suppose that's debatable. Good job--enjoyed this!
Congratulations on the top 40!