The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 613 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
03/05/10
Poor Mavis. This is a true account of many older Americans. So sad. Might be a little weak on topic, though.
This is such a sad tale, sad because it holds true for so many who need things to cling onto because they don't have people in their lives. You did such a good job of pointing that out without overkill.
Your story was especially sad with the knowledge that the MC was a grandmother who should have been receiving care. It seems the only thing she inspired was curiosity.
03/10/10
I was struck more with the failure of the grandson to maintain contact -- 5 years was it, he hadn't seen her? We don't know the history behind this, but the fact that those who knew (or knew about) her had only talked for at least 5 years that we know of--no action taking place. That's a word to all of us, I think.
03/10/10
I wanted a peek into her house and life too. You skillfully created the suspense. Poor Mavis... but I still had to smile at your ending. :)
03/10/10
This story urges the reader to do more for the Mavis's in our lives. They might not be hoarders, but they're alone...and lonely. Sad. Great title, BTW.
03/10/10
Wow, what a tragic story. It's sad the neighbors didn't seem to care about her, but even more so that her own grandson didn't bother to visit her. Very well written!
03/11/10
Powerful and especially sad, having known people who live like this, surrounded by their "treasures," which for whatever reason, have become their security... their haven and their prison. (A tiny wee bit of polishing here and there, grammar-wise, would add a touch more impact.)