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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)

TITLE: Still Silent
By Allison Egley


Zuriel sat beside his mother, waiting. The crowd around them grew louder and more excited. Was He coming?

People put their cloaks in the road and waved palm branches.


Zuriel wanted to cry out too. "Momma, why can't we shout out like the rest of them?"

"Because it's not our time yet, Zuriel."

"When? When will it be our turn?"

"Soon enough, my son. Just wait."

"I can't see, Momma. Everyone is too tall."

"I know, but we can't let everyone know we are here. We can't let them hear us."

"I don't understand."

"I know, Honey. One day you will."

The crowd grew louder, and Zuriel could hear and feel the donkey's hooves. He had to wonder. Were the rumors he had heard true? Was He the One? Were the prophesies coming true? Zuriel was confused. Many things he had heard made him think that He was the one, but the religious leaders didn't like Jesus too much, and even now he heard their complaints.

"A donkey? Why would the Messiah ride in on a donkey?"

"He does not follow the law."

"He eats with sinners and tax collectors."

"Momma," Zuriel said, "I don't understand. Why are some people mad? Is He really the One?"

"Oh, Zuriel. I can't explain it, really. Some just don't believe."

"Momma, I want to shout out too."

"We can't, Honey. Not yet."

The crowd continued to shout. "Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!"

The Pharisees approached Jesus. "Make these people stop shouting."

"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "If they are quiet, even the rocks will cry out."


As the week progressed, Zuriel grew even more confused, as he traveled around the city. He found himself on Gethsemane, people once again crying out, but this time a mixture of anger and sadness.

"How could this happen?" some questioned.

"If You're the Son of God, take Yourself down from that cross," others said.

"Momma, I don't understand. Why? I feel like crying too."

"Shhhh, Zuriel. It will be okay."

"But..." Zuriel couldn’t find the words to express his feelings. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling. How could the Messiah die? he wondered. He didn't want to think about what would happen next.


Three days later, Zuriel was sitting by a cave, a large stone stood next to the opening. A group of women came by with spices, weeping.

"The stone... it's been rolled away. Where is He?"

A man in white clothing sat on the stone. "He is not here. He is risen as he said."

Zuriel wanted to shout and sing his praises with the women. But he knew it was not yet his time.

Then Zuriel remembered what his mom had said. One day, all of creation would praise Him. His day would come and Zuriel would praise Him. Yes, with all of his voice, this little pebble would praise Him.

So if you're alone in the wilderness and you think you hear shouting and singing, maybe, by backpacks, shoes, and little hands, Zuriel has made it to you. He and his friends just might be practicing for their big debut.

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This article has been read 613 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 02/26/10
With Easter just weeks away, this was a timely piece. You chose a very different MC to tell this age old story. Good job.
Catrina Bradley 02/26/10
What a creative POV! It took me so by surprise, I had to reread the last two paragraphs before it was clear to me. Then, of course I read the story a second time and smiled... and realized how you absolutely nailed the topic. Great job!
Donna Wolther02/27/10
Very nice. I love to think about all of nature praising him. I never thought about a pebble before, thanks for expanding my imagination.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/01/10
What a great POV. It totally took me by surprise. I was captivated throughout the entire story.
Ruth Stromquist03/01/10
I can only ditto the comments on what an excellent POV you used. Awesome. I also liked the way you wrote on topic without using the actual word "Shh" -- yet the action of the parent shushing the child was there throughout. I enjoyed this much!
Pamela Kliewer03/02/10
Wow! I really like this POV!! Excellent!