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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)

TITLE: Unwanted Suitors
By Lizzy Ainsworth


“I love you, Wizzy. I loooove you,” he leaned forward towards me, across the bar on the horsey swing that held the swing to the set and that allowed some personal space.
“Leave me alone.” I narrowed my little eyes in the frustrated four year olds face and scrambled to get away from him.
“But Wizzy, I love you. You’re wovelly. Please stay,” he followed me, tragically, passionately proclaiming his love to an uncaring back.
“Shut up, Jack!” I shrilled back at him, losing my normally placid temperament. He had followed me around all my morning at playgroup and I was seriously contemplating grabbing the plastisaucepan from the sandpit and bonking him with it like my little sister did to other annoying boys.
“Come here this instant, young lady.” My mum called, as my unwanted suitor ran wailing across the playground to his mother. “You never tell anyone to shut up! That wasn’t very nice. You’ll have to say sorry to Jack, now.”
Pppsssh, I blew out my bottom lip; what was the point of boys anyway?

“Penalty for talking. Shut up and get on with it.” I demanded, keeping a playful tone to my voice. I was surrounded by too much testosterone in the middle of a rather hilariously violent game, randomly known as ‘King Mel’.
On one side was my boyfriend, the inventor of all random and strange card games, and on the other side was a childhood friend who thought he should have been my boyfriend. Situated opposite us was my boyfriend’s best friend, who had also developed an instant disliking for my unwanted suitor, and sitting around us were my two younger sisters.
The activities of the games seemed to all be carried out with an unnecessary amount of vigour and force. Even though there was no talking allowed during the game it seemed that the guys were well able to communicate their mutual dislike for one another.
I breathed a sigh of relief when two of them had to leave, but now I was left with my unwanted suitor.
“Where did you meet him?” he asked sullenly.
“Who, Stephen?”
A nod.
“At his cousin’s farm. We’ve been going out for two years.” I stated firmly.
He leaned back against the support beam and glared at the ground.
Pppssh, I still blew out my bottom lip, thirteen years on, but now I also rolled my eyes. Boys.

I was never interested in boys, in fact I wondered why God even needed to create them. They were quite strange to a girl who had never had a brother, but only three sisters. However, boys seemed to be very interested in me. I just kept running into them, and especially those who seemed to have crushes on me. I was mainly oblivious to this natural phenomena until Stephen informed me that certain guys were very jealous around him. Pppsshh, I blew out my bottom lip at that, rolled my eyes and fondly told Stephen to shut up.

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This article has been read 364 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/25/10
I was a little confused. It seemed you jumped around a bit.
But it was a nice way to show the evolution of how girls come to like boys. I especially liked the way you blew out of your lower lip. I could easily picture that whole scene.
Even through the gentle shut ups you did a good job in showing where your heart was at. Good descriptive piece.
c clemons03/02/10
I didn't get it, I'm sure it's just me. Keep writing.
Lisha Hunnicutt03/03/10
I agree with the previous comments. I found this piece to be a bit confusing.
Gregory Kane03/22/10
I thought there was some great characterisation going on. Probably needed some of the superfluous detail trimming down but there's a lot of potential here.