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I need to know what’s out there
As I ponder the after-life.
Even more I need to know what’s here
As I ponder my present life.
Something happened to me.
Quite a long time ago;
Shh. It’s a secret, let it be
No one ever needs to know.
The secret made me live a lie.
Now I’m not sure where to turn.
I honestly want to give up and die.
But first there is something I must learn.
At times life scares me immensely,
Other times it scares me just enough.
If I tell, will I finally be free?
Or will it just make my life tough?
I don't like who I turned out to be.
It makes me wonder who I really am.
I question who is the real me?
Has my whole life been just a sham?
Maybe I’m not even real,
Just a figment of some imagination.
Lord, I’m getting ready to kneel
And give You my heart for examination.
Please love me anyway;
Forgive all of my darkest sins.
I need You and I want to pray
Please let the healing begin.
Now I know what happened long ago
Should never happen to any child.
It has left my heart with a giant hole.
Nastiness has turned my thoughts all wild.
I know in You, my Lord, I can trust
I will try to do what You ask
And forgive the one who was full of lust
But, Lord, it’s going to be a difficult task.
If you promise to stay by my side,
I know I can accomplish all;
And I promise to no longer hide,
From now on I’ll answer your call.
Thank You for setting me free;
For always watching me from above
And for helping me become who I was meant to be-
A person who is finally capable of love.
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