The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 361 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Wow what a suspenseful story. I was shaking while reading it. You made everything seem so real. How right about fearing the unseen.
Excellent. This story had enough power to draw me in and keep me focused, that it even pulled me along while I was very distracted by something else on my mind. Well done!
03/02/10
A lot going on here, and not very cohesive. The digression of a previous occurence did not meld very well, you never gave an explanation of what caused that fear. Not sure if you were calling the armed robbers demons or the Devil. Instead of drawing me in, let me with a huh? momemt.