An avalanche of fear crashes down around my heart, squeezing the very life out of me.
Discouragement mocks me, pointing a threatening finger at me, making me feel if I even try to rise up out of these ashes of despair, all I’ll succeed in doing is falling further into the abyss.
I cower in a corner, more lonely and afraid than I’ve ever been.
Voices sneer at me.
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
“You’re a poor excuse for a Christian.”
“You can’t be that old, look how young you still act. When are you ever going to grow up and act your age?”
Tears roll down my cheeks. I am powerless to even put my hands over my ears to block the taunting.
The voices drone on and on, weakening me evermore as I continue to listen – and soon the lies become truths to my sun starved soul.
I hang my head.
Shame covers me in a dark cloud.
The voices just won’t stop…
“Shhh!” The resounding thunder of a voice startles me from my stupor.
Never have I heard such authority. Who said, no, who shouted that?
I raise my head.
The dark cloud is gone.
Light – pure white light fills the room.
Then I realize… no longer am I being taunted and mocked. The voices have ceased.
“Jesus?” I whisper… “Oh Jesus are you here?”
“Shhh.” Comes the soothing reply.
How can the same word now sound so different than when moments ago it rang with authority?
“Yes. Come to Me, child, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. The voices you have listened to for so long aren’t teachers you want or need. Listen to my voice and let me teach you the truth. Come to me…”
“But Jesus… all they’ve said…”
“Shhh My child. Shhh…”
As he comforts me, I let myself be captured in His embrace and there, I find rest for my soul as the tumultuous feelings subside and I let the gentle waves of Jesus’ peace flood over me.
Scripture from Matthew 11:28-29
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