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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)

TITLE: The Turning
By Pamela Kliewer
02/24/10


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An avalanche of fear crashes down around my heart, squeezing the very life out of me.

Discouragement mocks me, pointing a threatening finger at me, making me feel if I even try to rise up out of these ashes of despair, all I’ll succeed in doing is falling further into the abyss.

I cower in a corner, more lonely and afraid than I’ve ever been.

Voices sneer at me.

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

“You’re a poor excuse for a Christian.”

“You can’t be that old, look how young you still act. When are you ever going to grow up and act your age?”


Tears roll down my cheeks. I am powerless to even put my hands over my ears to block the taunting.

The voices drone on and on, weakening me evermore as I continue to listen – and soon the lies become truths to my sun starved soul.

I hang my head.

Shame covers me in a dark cloud.

The voices just won’t stop…

“Shhh!” The resounding thunder of a voice startles me from my stupor.

Never have I heard such authority. Who said, no, who shouted that?

I raise my head.

The dark cloud is gone.

Light – pure white light fills the room.

Then I realize… no longer am I being taunted and mocked. The voices have ceased.

“Jesus?” I whisper… “Oh Jesus are you here?”

“Shhh.” Comes the soothing reply.

How can the same word now sound so different than when moments ago it rang with authority?

“Jesus…”

“Yes. Come to Me, child, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. The voices you have listened to for so long aren’t teachers you want or need. Listen to my voice and let me teach you the truth. Come to me…”

“But Jesus… all they’ve said…”

“Shhh My child. Shhh…”

As he comforts me, I let myself be captured in His embrace and there, I find rest for my soul as the tumultuous feelings subside and I let the gentle waves of Jesus’ peace flood over me.

“Shhh.”



Scripture from Matthew 11:28-29


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Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/25/10
You did such a good job of juxtaposing the harsh and the gentle voice from within. A message I need to remember.
Ruth Stromquist03/01/10
This is cleanly written and gets the point across very strongly. A good reminder to stay focused in the truths of Scripture rather than our mental discouragements.
Sandra Petersen 03/01/10
Lately this is how I've felt. Those voices can be pretty convincing. You portrayed the feeling very well in this story.
Lisha Hunnicutt03/01/10
I've lived through a significant bout of depression a few years ago so I could really relate to this piece. I think this can be an encouragement tool for others who are hurting. Well done!
Catrina Bradley 03/01/10
I love it! The first person is great here. I like the difference the MC feels in Jesus' two "shh"'s, and I felt the peace that flowed over her. Very nice!
Mona Purvis03/02/10
I couldn't type this comment until I wiped away the tears. I love this so much. The voice you use is so believable and the message powerful. Wonderful entry.

Mona
Sarah Elisabeth 03/02/10
Oh the sweetness of peace. This was gently written, well done coming from the heart
Patricia Turner03/02/10
This is so well written I felt peace settle over me as I read it. Very nice.
Colin Swann03/03/10
Lovely - sorry no red ink!
Colin
Loren T. Lowery03/03/10
You have a wonderful way of getting your reader directly involved with your MC. Possibly it's because of the use of the first person and the very real situations you place them in. Either way, you carry them through the story and make them care while learning a good lesson at the end.