Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge



how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level


submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners

Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Shhh. (02/18/10)

TITLE: No More Secrets
By Robyn Burke


In a shadowed alley, Krista, little Marie in tow, hurried to find refuge behind a large garbage container. Krista placed a finger to her lips in warning, staring at her daughter anxiously. Eyes round and warm as chocolate returned the serious gaze. They huddled together, frozen by fear. They ducked down, as the sound of the approaching car grew closer. When it had passed by without slowing, Krista straightened and smoothed the little girls’ hair with trembling hands. What were they doing here, crouched in this dark alley, fearing for their lives? Krista had a vague plan, one that involved seeking refuge at the sheriff’s office, but walking openly down the sidewalk was as dangerous as if they had stayed home.

Home. A word that should convey safety and comfort, it only caused Krista to shudder. And suddenly, she was back in the kitchen, cowering, as Hank raged. She shook her head, willing the painful recall away. She couldn’t think about that now. She had to focus. Survival. That was all that mattered. She had to get Marie and herself to a safe place.

Unbidden, her thoughts raced. How many nights had she lain awake, staring down at Hank’s slack figure sprawled on their bed? How many nights of choking back tears as she watched him sleep? How many nights of silently questioning who this man really was? He was her husband, but did she even know him at all? Understand him? Sometimes it seemed all she knew how to do was make him angry. She would have never guessed him to be controlling, authoritative, violent, when they were dating, although looking back, she realized, the signs were there.

The first time he had ever struck her shocked them both. Now, after being beaten down time and time again she was only shocked that she had finally found the courage to leave.

How many years of secrecy? Putting on the happy face for family and friends, teaching Marie that there were things they just didn’t talk about -- to anyone. How many times had she sent Marie to her room, cautioning her to be quiet, to stay put, no matter what?

The scene from earlier returned with a vengeance. Hank, disgusted and spent, had given her one last shove as he turned to leave the room. Only after she heard his snores from the bedroom did she rise from where she had fallen and go to check on her daughter.

It was what she had witnessed from Marie’s bedroom doorway that had done it. Not fully comprehending at first, she had watched as Marie, one arm poised as if to strike, bent over her doll. She was hissing words. Ugly words, words that Krista had just endured from Hank. Then, quickly, Marie’s role-play had changed and she was scooping up the doll, whispering, “Shhh! We don’t talk about this.”

Awash in crushing grief at this disturbing revelation, Krista faced her moment of truth. She had acted quickly. An overnight bag in which she shoved only what they would need for the next day. Money. Car keys. There wasn’t time for anything else. She was counting the minutes, gauging how much time she had and how far she could get.

Hank’s rages followed a definite pattern: Anger. Violence. Exhaustion. Sleep. She knew she didn't have much time before he would awaken, demanding her presence. What would follow next would be the manipulative apologies, warnings about keeping the secret and finally, sexual domination, Hank’s version of making up.

They had made it only a few blocks when her car had sputtered to a stop, it’s flashing fuel light mocking her. She knew he would come looking. Panicked, she had unbuckled Marie from her car seat. He would see the abandoned car. She couldn’t waste time. They had taken to the streets on foot.

Now, Krista rose from the kneeling position her body was cramped in. Marie followed obediently without being told. As Krista sought out Marie’s face in the shadows, it was Marie who raised her finger to her lips and made the shushing sound.

Fighting the tears, Krista swallowed hard. With a strength she had not previously known, she squared her shoulders, resolutely taking Marie’s small hand. She would get them to safety. She would teach Marie new rules. There would be no more secrets. And she would never say, “Shhh” again.

The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.

This article has been read 503 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Anita van der Elst02/25/10
Riveting, absolutely riveting. And yet, heartbreaking at the same time. Thank you for putting this story out there; hopefully a reader will see herself and young ones and have courage to get to safety as well.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/25/10
Very powerful. I felt tense the whole time I was reading it, silently begging the mother and little girl to make it to safety. Good job in bringing out such strong feelings.
Ada Nett02/28/10
Well-written and emotionally gripping...

Sometimes abuse can be so subtle and can grow so gradually in a woman's life, that it takes seeing it through someone else's perspective to finally grasp the truth that something is terribly, terribly wrong.
Genia Gilbert03/03/10
Great take on a too common "secret." Gripping and well written.
Lisa Johnson03/04/10
God always works to reach people where they are. I am sure this story will be a great tool, in the hand of the Father, to touch someone in a similar situation, and bring them to a point where they can find the strength to leave. God bless you for writing this, and congratulations on taking 2nd place in level.
Joan Campbell03/04/10
Congrats on your placing - your article is excellent. You did extremely well "getting in" to your character's thoughts and feelings and bringing this across in a very tense, gripping way.
Eileen Knowles03/04/10
Very,very well done. You did an amazing job of capturing what it is like for people who are trapped in abusive situations. Congratulations on the well-deserved place!
Robyn Burke03/04/10
Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement.

About 20 years ago, I was the woman in the alley. More than anything I hope my words might give courage to someone else in a similar situation.

Thank you FW for awarding me 2nd place! I am so excited!!
Ruth Stromquist03/04/10
This was so realistically portrayed! AWESOME JOB. Congrats!
Anita van der Elst03/06/10
Congratulations, dear sister! I'm so proud of you! Praising God, first for helping you find safety 20 years ago, second for the renewal & rebuilding of our relationship since then, and third for gifting you with this writing ability. Blessings!