The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 770 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Ooooh creepy! I need to know more! You had me hooked the whole way through. It's not fair to leave us hanging!
02/19/10
There are a phew details missing, but you had me hooked as well.
That was mean! Who was he and what did he want?
Very gripping story.

MC was foolish to lead him home.
A captivating read with a concluding twist. Was the ending satisfying? I'm not sure -- I wanted the rest of the story.
02/22/10
Edgy and suspenseful. I was breathless along with the MC. I loved the last twist that unraveled her "phew" moment, and the open ending. We. Don't. Know. Muwhaha. Great job!
02/22/10
I could feel the danger. Great job building the suspense. But what happened to our terrified MC at the end?
02/23/10
I hated this! You know why? It was too good and you left me hanging. I can't stand to be left in suspense. Great job!
OK, here's the real story.
When I was in 7th grade our English teacher, who was a retired actress from New York, read us a story similar to this. I don't remember many details so I had to make up most of it, but in that classroom that day, her reading was so chilling and believable that some kids couldn't handle it. She had darkened the room and wierd music was playing on her record player. Some kids were visibly shaken and were excused to get a drink of water. And she left us hanging, too, as she taught different endings we could employ for our assignments. And yes, we hated the ending, too! **grin**
02/23/10
ooohhh... thrilling, breath-takingly chilling, great work on an open-ended story...
02/23/10
This was way too riveting. I hate open ending stories, My mind will work on this one for a while. I think you did a great job Mariane,you write prose as well as yo write poetry.
02/23/10
Great tension. Awesome!
02/24/10
Loved the tension and fear. What a rush of adrenaline. The contrasts of emotions at the end were great. Sort of a Alfred Hitchcock (sp?) feel to it.
A good job of a very scary ending. I thought for sure it was going to twist around and the man pursuing her would be the love of her life. I like your version way more.