The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/21/10
The fear of your MC was palpable and so excellently contrasted with the peace she recieved. I love this sentence, "I closed my eyes and allowed her words to pick up my trembling spirit and carry me through the heavens to the gates of the celestial palace of God." You have some beautiful descriptions and phrases in your writing!
Excellent descriptions, I especially enjoyed the peace that came from our Heavenly Father.
02/22/10
Your words flowed beautifully and were both gentle and strong at the same time. The kind of descriptions that wash over the reader and invoke peace. Thank you!
This is a beautifully told story, I think you did an excellent job of it. Minor thing- the quotes in the paragraph where she's telling Ann what's going on are off I think but it could be a copy/paste issue, too.

I think you did a good job here.
02/23/10
The fear of your mc was tangible. I was trying to remember the woman's name right along with her. Well done. The contrasting peace at the end was also powerful, I could feel it flowing through her.