The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/19/10
I liked the retelling of this piece of Biblical history but the phew seemed a little out of place. Maybe if you didn't mention he uttered a new word? I really like the way you chose to write the POV.
02/22/10
Very innovative presentation of a great Old Testament story! Thanks
02/23/10
I loved the creativity in this piece. Truly unique and well-told. I felt the dialogue was a little stilted at times, jolting me out of the world you created. The phew was appropriate, but felt a little underdeveloped.

I love the way you chose to tell this story - so creative!